Jokes 2

It's not really a joke, but some crazy/stupid accident that i just heard on the local news.

2 older guys. They don't know each other.
Both ilegally hunting beavers / rare fish. Late at night, different spots at the same lake.

The guy who came for the fish was diving, while the guy who came for the beavers put some shells into him.
Must have thought that it's some helluwah legendary beaver or smthn.

Guy survived. Both in court.
 
Two beggars are sitting side by side on the street in Rome. One has a cross in front of him, the other a Star of David. Many people go by, but only put money into the hat of the beggar sitting behind the cross.

A priest comes by, stops and watches throngs of people giving money to the beggar sitting behind the cross, but none give to the beggar sitting behind the Star of David. Finally, the priest goes over to the beggar behind the Star of David and says: "Don't you understand? This is a Catholic country. People aren't going to give you money if you sit there with a Star of David in front of you, especially if you're sitting beside a beggar who has a cross. In fact, they would probably give to him just out of spite!"

The beggar behind the Star of David listened to the priest, turned to the other beggar with the cross and said: "Moshe, look who's trying to teach the Goldstein brothers about marketing!"
 
I was in a pub last Saturday night, had quite a few drinks, and noticed two very large women by the bar. They both had pretty strong accents, so I asked, "Hey, are you two ladies from Ireland?"

One of them snapped back saying, "It's WALES, you friggin' idiot!"

So, I immediately apologized and said, "I'm sorry. Are you two whales from Ireland?"
That's pretty much the last thing I remember from that evening
 
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An old man was eating in a truck stop when three rough-looking bikers walked in.

As they passed the old man, the first biker pushed his cigarette into the old man's pie, then laughed and took a seat at the counter.

The second biker picked up the old man's milk and spit into it. The third biker turned over the old man's plate before joining the others at the counter.

Without saying a word to the laughing bikers, the old man put his money down, got up, and left the diner. One of the bikers said to the waitress, "Not much of a man, was he?"

The waitress replied," Not much of a truck driver either. He just backed his big rig over three motorcycles!
 
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