Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
I was in the airport VIP lounge en-route to New York a couple of weeks ago.
While in there, I noticed Elon Musk sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.
I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to New York, but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Tesla boss, introduced myself, and said,
“Mr. Musk, I wonder if you would do me a favor?”
“Sure thing?” he replied.
“I’m sitting right over there,” pointing to my seat at the bar, I continued,…
“And I’m waiting for a very important client."
"Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, ‘Hi Chris?’”
“Sure,” Elon agreed, with a sly smile.
I shook his hand and thanked him, and went back to my seat.
About ten minutes later, my client showed up.
We ordered a drink and we started to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder; It was Elon Musk.
“Hi Chris!” he said.
With an annoyed look I replied,
“Shut up Elon, I’m in a meeting!”
While in there, I noticed Elon Musk sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink.
I was meeting a very important client who was also flying to New York, but she was running a little bit late.
Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Tesla boss, introduced myself, and said,
“Mr. Musk, I wonder if you would do me a favor?”
“Sure thing?” he replied.
“I’m sitting right over there,” pointing to my seat at the bar, I continued,…
“And I’m waiting for a very important client."
"Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say, ‘Hi Chris?’”
“Sure,” Elon agreed, with a sly smile.
I shook his hand and thanked him, and went back to my seat.
About ten minutes later, my client showed up.
We ordered a drink and we started to talk business.
A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder; It was Elon Musk.
“Hi Chris!” he said.
With an annoyed look I replied,
“Shut up Elon, I’m in a meeting!”
Two sisters inherit the family ranch.
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.
They only have $600 available.
The older sister says,
"I’m going to take the bus to the stockyards since you need the pick-up truck. When I get there, if I decide to buy a bull, I'll contact you to bring the pickup truck and trailer and haul it home."
The older sister arrives at the stockyard, inspects a bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she makes her way to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram telling her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office and says,
"I want to send a telegram to my sister, telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator said he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, she only had one dollar, enough to send one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says,
"I want you to send her this word: comfortable."
The operator shakes his head.
'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to the pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
She explained, "This is a big word for my sister. So she'll read it very slowly ... sounding it out as com-for-da-bull."
Unfortunately, after just a few years, they are in financial trouble.
In order to keep the bank from repossessing the ranch, they need to purchase a bull from the stockyard in a far town so that they can breed their own stock.
They only have $600 available.
The older sister says,
"I’m going to take the bus to the stockyards since you need the pick-up truck. When I get there, if I decide to buy a bull, I'll contact you to bring the pickup truck and trailer and haul it home."
The older sister arrives at the stockyard, inspects a bull, and decides she wants to buy it. The man tells her that he will sell it for $599, no less. After paying him, she makes her way to the nearest town to send her sister a telegram telling her the news.
She walks into the telegraph office and says,
"I want to send a telegram to my sister, telling her that I've bought a bull for our ranch. I need her to hitch the trailer to our pickup truck and drive out here so we can haul it home."
The telegraph operator said he'll be glad to help her, then adds, "It's 99 cents a word." Well, after paying for the bull, she only had one dollar, enough to send one word.
After a few minutes of thinking, she nods and says,
"I want you to send her this word: comfortable."
The operator shakes his head.
'How is she ever going to know that you want her to hitch the trailer to the pickup truck and drive out here to haul that bull back to your ranch if you send her just the word "comfortable?"
She explained, "This is a big word for my sister. So she'll read it very slowly ... sounding it out as com-for-da-bull."
Two nuns are being followed by a man during their walk. They quicken their steps, but at the same time the man is walking faster and getting closer.
"Even if we run as fast as possible, he'll catch up with us soon," fears one sister, "what should we do?""It's best if we separate, then at least one of us will get away safely," answers the other.
They part, and while the man follows the first nun, the other reaches the convent unmolested. A short time later the first nun comes back.
"What happened after we broke up?" asks the second nun.
"Well, the expected, the man followed me and I ran faster."
"And then?"
"Well, the feared, the man has caught up with me."
"What happened then?"
"The inevitable, I lifted my skirt..."
"Oh God …"
"...and the man dropped his pants."
"And then what happened?"
"The most natural thing: a nun with her skirt up can run much faster than a man with his pants down."
"Even if we run as fast as possible, he'll catch up with us soon," fears one sister, "what should we do?""It's best if we separate, then at least one of us will get away safely," answers the other.
They part, and while the man follows the first nun, the other reaches the convent unmolested. A short time later the first nun comes back.
"What happened after we broke up?" asks the second nun.
"Well, the expected, the man followed me and I ran faster."
"And then?"
"Well, the feared, the man has caught up with me."
"What happened then?"
"The inevitable, I lifted my skirt..."
"Oh God …"
"...and the man dropped his pants."
"And then what happened?"
"The most natural thing: a nun with her skirt up can run much faster than a man with his pants down."