Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
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A car full of Irish nuns is sitting at a traffic light in down town Dublin, when a car full of rowdy drunks pulls up along side them. "Hay , show us yer teets, you bloody penguins! " shouts one of the drunks.
Quit shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculeta, "I don't think that they know who we are; show them your cross."
Sister Immaculeta rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off ya fooken' wankers before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Mary Immaculeta then rolled up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asked, "Did that sound cross enough?"
Quit shocked, Mother Superior turns to Sister Mary Immaculeta, "I don't think that they know who we are; show them your cross."
Sister Immaculeta rolls down her window and shouts, "Piss off ya fooken' wankers before I come over there and rip yer balls off!"
Sister Mary Immaculeta then rolled up her window, looks back at Mother Superior, quite innocently, and asked, "Did that sound cross enough?"
Hahaha, it's Immaculata. But still a great joke!
A priest from a small village in Italy went fishing one day. Before long, he had hooked a good one and as he reeled it in a young boy watching said "Father, that is one big Fucking fish!"
"My son, such language"
"But Father, that is what that fish is called in these waters".
"I see".
So the priest takes it back and as he sees Sister Mary he says, "Sister Mary, will you please clean this Fucking fish for me?"
"Father, such language!"
"It is what it is called in these waters".
"I see".
Soon, Mother Superior shows up as Sister Mary is cleaning the fish and announces, "Sister Mary, the Pope just called and he is coming by for dinner tonight and we have nothing to serve".
"Mother Superior, we can serve this beautiful, big Fucking fish!"
"Sister Mary! Such language!"
"That is what it is called"
"I see".
So later they are all sitting down to dinner with the Pope as he announces, "what a marvelous meal, such a nice fish"
And the Priest says "I caught that Fucking fish!"
Sister Mary says "and I cleaned that Fucking fish!"
and Mother Superior says "and I cooked that Fucking fish!"
The Pope smiles as he looks around the table and says "you know, you fucker's are alright!"
"My son, such language"
"But Father, that is what that fish is called in these waters".
"I see".
So the priest takes it back and as he sees Sister Mary he says, "Sister Mary, will you please clean this Fucking fish for me?"
"Father, such language!"
"It is what it is called in these waters".
"I see".
Soon, Mother Superior shows up as Sister Mary is cleaning the fish and announces, "Sister Mary, the Pope just called and he is coming by for dinner tonight and we have nothing to serve".
"Mother Superior, we can serve this beautiful, big Fucking fish!"
"Sister Mary! Such language!"
"That is what it is called"
"I see".
So later they are all sitting down to dinner with the Pope as he announces, "what a marvelous meal, such a nice fish"
And the Priest says "I caught that Fucking fish!"
Sister Mary says "and I cleaned that Fucking fish!"
and Mother Superior says "and I cooked that Fucking fish!"
The Pope smiles as he looks around the table and says "you know, you fucker's are alright!"
Every night, Frank goes down to the bottle shop, get a six pack, brings it home and drinks it while he watches TV. One night, as he finishes his last beer, the doorbell rings. He stumbles to the door and finds a two-metre tall cockroach standing there. The bug grabs him by the collar and throws him across the room, then leaves.
The next night, after he finishes his fourth beer, the doorbell rings. He walks slowly to the door and finds the same cockroach, who this time punches him in the stomach.
The next night, when the doorbell rings again Frank won’t even risk it and instead slips out the back door only to find the same massive cockie waiting for him – who, this time, knees him in the groin and drops him like a sack of spuds.
Franks goes straight to the police, and tell the desk sergeant the whole story.
“I know,” says the copper ruefully. “We are doing our best, but there’s just a very nasty bug going around.”
The next night, after he finishes his fourth beer, the doorbell rings. He walks slowly to the door and finds the same cockroach, who this time punches him in the stomach.
The next night, when the doorbell rings again Frank won’t even risk it and instead slips out the back door only to find the same massive cockie waiting for him – who, this time, knees him in the groin and drops him like a sack of spuds.
Franks goes straight to the police, and tell the desk sergeant the whole story.
“I know,” says the copper ruefully. “We are doing our best, but there’s just a very nasty bug going around.”