Jokes 2

"Obama the Catholic Saint"

On Saturday afternoon, in Washington, DC an aide to
President Barack Obama visited the Cardinal of the Catholic
cathedral in Washington.

He told the Cardinal that President Barack Obama would
be attending the next mass, and he asked if the Cardinal
would kindly point out Obama to the congregation and say a
few words that would include calling Obama a saint.

The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like
the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic
Church over certain of Obama's views.

Obama's aide then said, "Look, I'll write
a check here and now for a donation of $10,000,000 to your
church if you'll just tell the congregation you see
Obama as a saint.

The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the
church can use the money, so I'll work your request into
tomorrow's sermon.

As Obama's aide promised, Obama appeared for the
Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward
left side of the center aisle.

As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal
pointed out that Obama was present.

The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation,
"While President Obama's presence is probably an
honor to some, the man is not numbered among my personal
favorite personages. Some of his views are contrary to
tenets of the Church, and he tends to flip-flop on many
other issues. Barack Obama is a petty, self-absorbed
hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit.

Barack Obama is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a
thief. I must say, Barack Obama is the worst example of a
Christian I have ever personally witnessed. He is a
narcissist and is using his speaking ability to lie to the
American people.

He also has a reputation for shirking his obligations,
both In Washington and in Illinois. The man is simply not to
be trusted.

The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with
Hillary Clinton, Obama is a Saint.
 
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And this is how 98% of media will report the story:
Obama the Catholic Saint"

On Saturday afternoon, in Washington, DC an aide to President Barack Obama visited the Cardinal of the Catholic cathedral in Washington.

He told the Cardinal that President Barack Obama would be attending the next mass, and he asked if the Cardinal would kindly point out Obama to the congregation and say a few words that would include calling Obama a saint.

The Cardinal replied, "No. I don't really like the man, and there are issues of conflict with the Catholic Church over certain of Obama's views.

Obama's aide then said, "Look, I'll write a check here and now for a donation of $10,000,000 to your church if you'll just tell the congregation you see Obama as a saint.

The Cardinal thought about it and said, "Well, the church can use the money, so I'll work your request into tomorrow's sermon.

As Obama's aide promised, Obama appeared for the Sunday worship and seated himself prominently at the forward left side of the center aisle.

As promised, at the start of his sermon, the Cardinal pointed out that Obama was present.

The Cardinal went on to explain to the congregation, "While President Obama's presence is probably an honor to some, the man is not numbered among my personal favorite personages. Some of his views are contrary to tenets of the Church, and he tends to flip-flop on many other issues. Barack Obama is a petty, self-absorbed hypocrite, a thumb sucker and a nit-wit.

Barack Obama is also a serial liar, a cheat, and a thief. I must say, Barack Obama is the worst example of a Christian I have ever personally witnessed. He is a narcissist and is using his speaking ability to lie to the American people.

He also has a reputation for shirking his obligations, both In Washington and in Illinois. The man is simply not to be trusted.

The Cardinal concluded, "But, when compared with Hillary Clinton, Obama is a Saint.
 
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Hillary Clinton called Bill Clinton into her office one day and said,"Bill, I have a plan to win back Middle America in 2016!"


"Great Hillary, but how?" asked Bill.

"We'll get some cheesy clothes and shoes, like most Middle Class Americans wear, then stop at the pound and pick up a Labrador retriever. Then, we'll go to a nice old country bar in Montana and show them how much admiration and respect we have for the hard working people living there."


So they did, and found just the place they were looking for in Bozeman, Montana. With the dog in tow, they walked inside and stepped up to the bar.


The Bartender took a step back and said, "Hey! Aren't you Bill and Hillary Clinton?"


"Yes we are!" said Hillary, "And what a lovely town you have here. We were passing through and Bill suggested we stop and take in some local color."

They ordered a round of bourbon for the whole bar, and started chatting up a storm with anyone who would listen.

A few minutes later, a grizzled old rancher came in, Walked up to the Labrador, lifted up its tail, looked underneath, Shrugged his shoulders and walked out. A few moments later, In came another old rancher. He walked up to the dog, Lifted up its tail, looked underneath, scratched his head And left the bar.

For the next hour, another dozen ranchers came in,

Lifted the dog's tail, and left shaking their heads.

Finally, Hillary asked, "Why did all those old ranchers come in and look under the dog's tail? Is it some sort of custom?"

"Lord no," said the bartender. "Someone's out there

Running around town, claiming there's a Labrador Retriever In here with two assholes!"
 
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