Jokes 2

[Handle123]

Found this cool.

Subject: Fwd: FW: An incredible model village

If the site does not open go to You-Tube and search Miniature Wunderland
worth the look.




https://www.youtube.com/embed/ACkmg3Y64_s?rel=0

 

[Handle123]

Every
morning is the dawn of a new
error.

 

[Handle123]

Working people frequently ask retired people what they do to make their days interesting.


Well, for example, the other day, Kate, my wife and I went into town and visited a shop.



When we came out, there was a cop writing a parking ticket. We went up to him and I said, "Come on man, how about giving a senior citizen a break?"



He ignored us and continued writing the ticket.



I called him an ignorant jerk. He glared at me and started writing another ticket for having worn out tires.



So my wife called I'm a bastard. He finished the second ticket and put it on the windshield with the first.



Then he started writing more tickets.



This went on for about 20 minutes. The more we abused him, the more tickets he wrote.



Just then our bus arrived, and we got on it and went home.



We always look for cars with "Hillary" "Obama" or "Bernie" bumper stickers.



We try to have a little fun each day now that we're retired. It's important at our age.

 

[Handle123]

New York cab drivers, don't ya just love them.

 

[Handle123]

Redneck Creations:

 

[Handle123]

Redneck Creations:

 

[traderob]

 

[Handle123]

 

[Handle123]

WHO WILL PAY THE PECKER CHECKER?
I have one very important question about the whole anti-LGBT bathroom legislation!
Who will pay the Pecker Checker? And how much money will a Pecker Checker make? Do we pay a Pecker Checker by the pecker?

One more question! How many peckers can a Pecker Checker check if a Pecker Checker can check peckers?

And will women have to wear a Vag Badge? Will we have to hire a Vag Badge Hag?
If things get out of hand, so to speak, we can hire PC Restroom Services! Their motto? If you gotta pee, we gotta see!
Special thanks to LA Starcevich, who helped write this!

 

[Handle123]

.

Sixteen Logical Reasons Why Some Men Have Dogs And Not Wives:

1.The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.

2. Dogs don't notice if you call them by another dog's name..

3.Dogs like it if you leave lots of things on the floor.

4.Dogs' parents never visit.

5. Dogs agree that you have toraise your voice to get your point across.

6. You never have to wait for a dog; they're ready to go, instantly, 24 hours a day.

7. Dogs find you amusing when you're pissed.

8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.

9. Dogs won't wake you up at night to ask: "If I died, would you get another dog?"






10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and sell 'em.





11. When you drop a silent one, dogs don't run around frantically with room spray.





















13. Dogs never tell you to stop scratching your balls. Instead, they sit pondering why you don't lick 'em.



14. Dogs will let you put a studded collar on, without calling you a pervert.






15. If a dog smells another dog on you, it won't kick you in the crotch; it just finds it interesting.














And last, but notleast:










16. If a dog runs off and leaves you, it won't take half your stuff.





To verify these statements: Lock your wife and your dog in the car boot for an hour.
Then open the door and observe which one is happy to see you!