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Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
An elderly couple was watching a Discovery Channel special about a
West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When
the Black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his
penis and On the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight
stretches the Penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, His
wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African
String-and-Weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they tied a
string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little
Tribal experiment coming along?"
"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.
"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"
"No, it's turned black.
West African bush tribe whose men all had penises 24 inches long. When
the Black male reaches a certain age, a string is tied around his
penis and On the other end is a weight. After a while, the weight
stretches the Penis to 24 inches.
Later that evening as the husband was getting out of the shower, His
wife looked at him and said, "How about we try the African
String-and-Weight procedure?" The husband agreed and they tied a
string and a weight to his penis.
A few days later, the wife asked the husband, "How is our little
Tribal experiment coming along?"
"Well, it looks like we're about half way there," he replied.
"Wow, you mean it's grown to 12 inches?"
"No, it's turned black.
not that funny ...
If you look at humor for what it is through history, we make jokes about everything and good old USA, nothing is left and is not made fun. I think Americans are more violent than any other nation in the world, but we are also the most giving, most willing to give up our lives so other's have better chance of living. If you look at the 3 Stooges, I have read so many kids ended up in the hospital from getting hit and kicked by siblings and friends and yet 3 Stooges were at the movies and TV every day and week. We laugh at the President by the minute and yet if in other countries you are beheaded for doing so. And yes, I served in the military and sent this out to my younger Army Vets who served in Arab countries and thought it was funny.
I do thank you for your opinion, really I do and I am very Happy we have the rights we have in this country.
Pierre was celebrating his silver wedding anniversary, and while all
were unrestrainedly merry over the ample liquor provided by the
host, Pierre himself remained in the corner, nursing a drink and
following one of the guests with baleful eyes.
A friend noticed this strange action, all the more strange on so
happy an occasion, and said, "At whom are you glaring, Pierre my
friend?"
"At my lawyer, may his soul rot."
"But why are you so angry with him?"
"It is a sad tale. After I had been married ten years, I decided I
had had enough and that the cleanest solution would be to kill my
wife. Painlessly, of course, for I am no monster. Being a
methodical man, I approached my lawyer--that one there--and asked
him of the possible consequences. He told me that whereas killing a
husband is, here in France, a mere misdemeanor, killing a wife is a
felony, and that even with a most skillful defense, I would have to
count on fifteen years in jail. He urged me not to do it and I let
myself be guided by his advice."
"Well, then, why are you angry?"
"Because," said Pierre, "if I had not listened to his stupid advice,
today I would have been a free man at last."
were unrestrainedly merry over the ample liquor provided by the
host, Pierre himself remained in the corner, nursing a drink and
following one of the guests with baleful eyes.
A friend noticed this strange action, all the more strange on so
happy an occasion, and said, "At whom are you glaring, Pierre my
friend?"
"At my lawyer, may his soul rot."
"But why are you so angry with him?"
"It is a sad tale. After I had been married ten years, I decided I
had had enough and that the cleanest solution would be to kill my
wife. Painlessly, of course, for I am no monster. Being a
methodical man, I approached my lawyer--that one there--and asked
him of the possible consequences. He told me that whereas killing a
husband is, here in France, a mere misdemeanor, killing a wife is a
felony, and that even with a most skillful defense, I would have to
count on fifteen years in jail. He urged me not to do it and I let
myself be guided by his advice."
"Well, then, why are you angry?"
"Because," said Pierre, "if I had not listened to his stupid advice,
today I would have been a free man at last."
My wife was dying and I was by her bedside. She said in a tired voice "There's something I must confess." "Shhh" I said. "There's nothing to confess ... Everything's all right." "No, I must die in peace. I slept with your brother, your best friend, his best friend, and your father!" "I know, I know." I whispered ... "That's why I poisoned you ... Now close your eyes ...''
Jokester is a science fiction short story by Isaac Asimov. The story first appeared in the December 1956 issue of Infinity Science Fiction, and was reprinted in the collections Earth Is Room Enough (1957) and Robot Dreams (1986). It is one of a loosely connected series of stories concerning a fictional computer called Multivac.
Plot summary
Noel Meyerhof is a 'Grand Master', one of a small cadre of Earth's recognised Geniuses, who has the insight to know what questions to ask Multivac. But a computer scientist is concerned that Meyerhof is acting erratically. As a known joke-teller, he has been discovered feeding jokes and riddles into Multivac.
By computer analysis, the characters in the story investigate the origin of humor, particularly why there seems to be no such thing as an original joke, except for puns. Every normal joke is something you heard from someone else.
The computer eventually tells them that humor is actually a psychological study tool imposed from without by extraterrestrials studying mankind. They needed to isolate the responses to their jokes from original ones, so they 'programmed' us to react differently to puns.
The characters of the story conjecture that figuring this fact out makes it useless as a tool, so the aliens would turn off humour. And suddenly nothing is ever funny again…
Plot summary
Noel Meyerhof is a 'Grand Master', one of a small cadre of Earth's recognised Geniuses, who has the insight to know what questions to ask Multivac. But a computer scientist is concerned that Meyerhof is acting erratically. As a known joke-teller, he has been discovered feeding jokes and riddles into Multivac.
By computer analysis, the characters in the story investigate the origin of humor, particularly why there seems to be no such thing as an original joke, except for puns. Every normal joke is something you heard from someone else.
The computer eventually tells them that humor is actually a psychological study tool imposed from without by extraterrestrials studying mankind. They needed to isolate the responses to their jokes from original ones, so they 'programmed' us to react differently to puns.
The characters of the story conjecture that figuring this fact out makes it useless as a tool, so the aliens would turn off humour. And suddenly nothing is ever funny again…
Attachments
Now that's the best I've ever seen.
UNREAL
next see Shin Lin again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAN-PwRfJcA
UNREAL
next see Shin Lin again
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EAN-PwRfJcA
:How Gravity Works....
I watched this for five minutes before
I realized the clip is only 7 seconds long:
http://gfycat.com/ZestyImportantBluefish
c
I watched this for five minutes before
I realized the clip is only 7 seconds long:
http://gfycat.com/ZestyImportantBluefish
c