Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Medicare - Part G - Nursing Home Plan
Say you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is
no Nursing Home care available for you.
So, what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older, a gun (Part G),
and four bullets.
You are allowed to shoot four politicians.
This means, of course, that you'll be sent to prison
where you'll receive three meals a day, a roof over your head,
central heating & air conditioning, cable TV,
library, and all the Health Care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem.
Need glasses? That's great.
Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees,
kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart?
They're all covered.
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least
as often as they do now!
And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government
that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a home.
(And, you can get rid of 4 useless politicians while you're at it)
And now, because you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay any
more income taxes.
Is this a great country or what?
Say you're a sick senior citizen and the government says there is
no Nursing Home care available for you.
So, what do you do?
Our plan gives anyone 65 years or older, a gun (Part G),
and four bullets.
You are allowed to shoot four politicians.
This means, of course, that you'll be sent to prison
where you'll receive three meals a day, a roof over your head,
central heating & air conditioning, cable TV,
library, and all the Health Care you need.
Need new teeth? No problem.
Need glasses? That's great.
Need a hearing aid, new hip, knees,
kidney, lungs, sex change, or heart?
They're all covered.
As an added bonus, your kids can come and visit you at least
as often as they do now!
And, who will be paying for all of this? The same government
that just told you they can't afford for you to go into a home.
(And, you can get rid of 4 useless politicians while you're at it)
And now, because you're a prisoner, you don't have to pay any
more income taxes.
Is this a great country or what?
Top 10 Most Unbelievable Excuses for Calling In Sick
Here are the top excuses from 2,203 hiring managers and HR professionals:
10. Employee just put a casserole in the oven.
9. Employee’s plastic surgery for enhancement purposes needed some "tweaking" to get it just right.
8. Employee was sitting in the bathroom and her feet and legs fell asleep. When she stood up, she fell and broke her ankle.
7. Employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
6. Employee woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it.
5. Employee had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where he was.
4. Employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn't get out.
3. Employee had a gall stone they wanted to heal holistically.
2. Employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
1. Employee accidentally got on a plane.
Here are the top excuses from 2,203 hiring managers and HR professionals:
10. Employee just put a casserole in the oven.
9. Employee’s plastic surgery for enhancement purposes needed some "tweaking" to get it just right.
8. Employee was sitting in the bathroom and her feet and legs fell asleep. When she stood up, she fell and broke her ankle.
7. Employee had been at the casino all weekend and still had money left to play with on Monday morning.
6. Employee woke up in a good mood and didn't want to ruin it.
5. Employee had a “lucky night” and didn’t know where he was.
4. Employee got stuck in the blood pressure machine at the grocery store and couldn't get out.
3. Employee had a gall stone they wanted to heal holistically.
2. Employee caught their uniform on fire by putting it in the microwave to dry.
1. Employee accidentally got on a plane.
Free burger for Ms Swan!!!
