Jokes 2

nutmeg · Jul 25, 2013

My best friend has just been crushed to death..

He was having an affair with my wife and he let her go on top.

fhl · Jul 25, 2013

I hate it when I hear someone joke about the Holocaust. It's just wrong. Anne Frankly, I won't stand for it.

Humpy · Jul 26, 2013

Quote from Lucrum:

Why Sharks Circle You Before Attacking...

Two great white sharks swimming in the ocean
spied survivors of a sunken ship.
"Follow me son" the father shark said to the son shark and they swam to the mass of people."First we swim around them a few times with just the tip of our fins showing." And they did.
"Well done, son! Now we swim around them a few times with all of our fins showing." And they did.
"Now we eat everybody." And they did.When they were both gorged, the son asked, "Dad, why didn't we just eat them all at first? Why did we swim around and around them?"His wise father replied, "Because they taste better without the shit inside!"

The redskins used to do the same thing. Riding round and round the wagon train, I mean. I wonder if that was for the same reason.

nutmeg · Jul 26, 2013

7yo: Daddy you smell like beer.

Me: Well, you smell like a bad idea that your mother and I thought could fix our marriage... now go to bed.

JAGUARBONE · Jul 26, 2013

Yes, of the 44 US Presidents: Obama rated 5th best president ever!

The Democratic Party publicity release said, "...after a just little more than four years, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best president ever."

Breaks down like this according to the White House:

* Reagan, Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson and 6 others tied for first.
* 15 presidents tied for second.
* 17 other presidents tied for third.
* Jimmy Carter came in 4th.
* Obama came in fifth.

Yannis · Jul 27, 2013

Please Drive Carefully

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Yannis · Jul 27, 2013

Quote from JAGUARBONE:

Yes, of the 44 US Presidents: Obama rated 5th best president ever!...

Good one, LOL!

hoodooman · Jul 27, 2013

What was herbert hoovers rating

Humpy · Jul 27, 2013

Quote from JAGUARBONE:

Yes, of the 44 US Presidents: Obama rated 5th best president ever!

The Democratic Party publicity release said, "...after a just little more than four years, Americans have rated President Obama the 5th best president ever."

Breaks down like this according to the White House:

* Reagan, Lincoln, Washington, Jefferson and 6 others tied for first.
* 15 presidents tied for second.
* 17 other presidents tied for third.
* Jimmy Carter came in 4th.
* Obama came in fifth.

You US guys sure do pick 'em

fhl · Jul 27, 2013

I turned over a new leaf.

The Nissan salesman wasn't happy about my test drive.