Jokes 2

French Talent: Flexibility

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/jJxxHvWwQBw?version=3&feature=player_popout"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/jJxxHvWwQBw?version=3&feature=player_popout" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>

:cool:
 
After watching that I called up the local gym. I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits.

He said, "How flexible are you?"

I said, "I can't make Tuesdays."
 
Quote from nutmeg:

I walked in earlier to find my Grandfather raping my Grandma over the kitchen table.

Grandma was sobbing, screaming for my Grandfather to stop.

My Grandfather then turned round, and gave me a wink, and said "She'll remember nothing by the morning son".
More...

I have always looked like my grandpa when he was younger,

But it wasn't until my grandma got alzheimers, that it helped my sex life.
 
I remember this story about Grandpa.


Well Nutmeg, you see that rifle?

I was hunting with it. At one point I see a HUGE boar. I aim, pull the trigger and shot it down. Being so large I couldn't carry it, so I took the knife, I cut a leg put it on my shoulder and went on.

Suddenly in front of me, another boar appears, ENORMOUS. I could not help it. I aim, shoot and bring him down also. Took the knife and cut one of it's legs, because I couldn't carry him, and put it on my other shoulder ...


(Grandmother walks in...)
- "Grandpa you've taken your pills?"

Grandpa take his pills....

-" So Nutmeg, where were we?"

"- You put one leg over one shoulder, one on the other ..."

- Hmmm, ahh yesss, one leg on one shoulder, one leg on the other ... I grabbed her ass and fucked her till morning ...
 
Physicist Dad At The Playground

attachment.php


:) :) :)
 

Attachments

STATE MOTTOES

ALABAMA: Literacy Ain't Everything
ARIZONA: But it's a dry heat, I tell ya!
ARKANSAS: At Least We're not Oklahoma
D.C.: Now With Fewer Murders Than New Orleans
DELAWARE: No One Knows We Exist
FLORIDA: The Gunshine State
HAWAII: We're All Tanned and Healthy and You're Fat and Dying!
IDAHO: Enough About the Damn Potatoes!
ILLINOIS: Gateway to Iowa
KENTUCKY: Tobacco is a Vegetable
LOUISIANA State Joke: Men Working
MAINE: For Sale
MASSACHUSETTS: Chappaquidick...'nuff said
MONTANA: Land of the Big Sky, and Very Little Else
NEVADA: Lose Your Money and Leave
NEW JERSEY: You Have the Right to Remain Silent, You Have the Right to an Attorney
NEW MEXICO: Lizards Make Excellent Pets
NORTH CAROLINA: Five Million People; Fifteen Last Names
OHIO: Don't Judge us by Cleveland
OKLAHOMA: 50th Most Visited State!
PENNSYLVANIA: Cook with Coal
RHODE Island: Too Small to Care About
SOUTH DAKOTA: Closer than North Dakota
TENNESSEE: The Educashun State
TEXAS: Si Habla Ingles
TEXAS: Not as Boring as Nebraska
UTAH: Our Jesus is Better than Your Jesus
VERMONT: Quaint and Cold
WEST VIRGINIA: We're all related
 
Marriage Certificate

Wifey saw her husband frustrated reading the Marriage Certificate from top to bottom, flip it over, and then read it again...

She asked:" Honey, what are you looking for?"

He answered:" Nothing dear, I’m just looking for the expiration date for this paper..."
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top