Jokes 2

A football coach of the university football team walked into the locker room before a game, looked over to his star player and said, "I'm not supposed to let you play since you failed math, but we need you in there. So what I have to do is ask you a math question, and if you get it right, you can play."

The player agreed, and the coach looked into his eyes intently and asks, "Okay, now concentrate... what is two plus two?"

The player thought for a moment and then he answered, "Four?"

"Four?!?" the coach exclaimed, excited that he got it right.

At that, all the other players on the team began screaming, "Come on coach, give him another chance!"
 
Quote from nutmeg:

I can still remember the day my Grandfather said to me "You know how you've always liked my antique gold watch?"

"Yes, of course." I answered with great anticipation.

He answered "Well, it came off in your Grandma's cunt. Fish it out and it's yours."
More...

I was talking to my grandfather today, he said

"The economy has turned to shit!"

"Tell me something I don't know" I replied

"Your grandmother can take two fists in her arse!" he said back

He is one sick fuck....:cool:
 
My grandad just phoned me and said, "Where are you?"

I said, "I'm in a strip club, getting drunk and snorting cocaine, why?"

He said, "I think somebody has stolen my wallet".

I said, "Don't be stupid, who would steal $100.00 from an old man?"
 
I walked in earlier to find my Grandfather raping my Grandma over the kitchen table.

Grandma was sobbing, screaming for my Grandfather to stop.

My Grandfather then turned round, and gave me a wink, and said "She'll remember nothing by the morning son".

I do hope my wife develops Alzheimer's.
 
I remember visiting Grandma and Grandpa's and I asked, "Grandad, why does Grandma always smell of wee?"

"Well, you're six years old now so I guess that I should give you an honest explanation",

He put an arm around my shoulder. "Now tell me Nutmeg, have you ever heard of a golden shower?"

Stay tuned....:D
 
THE HISTORY OF PROFILING


The day it all started was March 6, 1836. On that fateful day, Davy Crockett woke up and rose from his bunk on the main floor of the Alamo . He then walked up to the observation post along the west wall of the fort.

William B. Travis and Jim Bowie were already there, looking out over the top of the wall. These three great men gazed at the hordes of Mexicans moving toward them.

With a puzzled look on his face, Crockett turned to Bowie and said:



"Jim, are we pouring concrete today?"
 
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