Jokes 2

My fat wife accidentally rolled on me in bed last night, when they rushed me into the hospital the first question the doctor asked was

"Did they find the truck that hit you!?"
 
The Healing


Southern Baptist preacher said, "Anyone with 'special needs' who wants to be prayed over, please come forward to the front by the altar."

With that, Bernie Madoff got in line. When it was his turn, the Preacher asked, "Mr. Madoff, what do you want me to pray about for you?"

Bernie replied, "Preacher, I need you to pray for help with my hearing." The preacher put one hand on Madoff's ear, placed his other hand on top of Madoff's head, and then prayed and prayed and prayed. He prayed a "blue streak" for old Bernie, and the whole congregation joined in with great enthusiasm.

After a few minutes, the preacher removed his hands, stood back and asked, "Mr. Madoff, how is your hearing now?"

Bernie, a bit dazed, answered, "I don't know, it's not until next week."
 
From the dailymail today ... A national sex strike! Spain's 'high-class hookers refuse to sleep with bankers until they open up credit lines to cash-strapped families' ..... 'We have been on strike for three days now and we don't think they can withstand much more,' added the woman, known as Ana MG.
 
I just got in and found my wife dead. So I decided to have sex with her one last time.

Suddenly she opened her eyes and said "BOO!"

Honestly some people are just fucking sick in the head
 
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