Jokes 2

There was this great hypnotist that got nominated for an Oscar last year. He attended the ceremony. Well sure enough he won the Oscar for the best supporting actor. He went up to the stage , received the Oscar and was just about to give his prepared speech of thanks when the award slipped out of his hand and broke into a thousand pieces on the floor.

OH SHIT he screamed

It took the cleaners a week to clear up the hall
 
Quote from Yannis:

Useful Dog Tricks

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:) :) :)
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I can't even get the maid to do all that right. Maybe I'll try those doggie treats. Seriously, that's one smart dog.
 
Quote from Yannis:

Useful Dog Tricks

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:) :) :)
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Thanks for that, so very cute.


c
 
Quote from Yannis:

Useful Dog Tricks

<object style="height: 390px; width: 640px"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/P9Fyey4D5hg?version=3&feature=player_popout"><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"><param name="allowScriptAccess" value="always"><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/P9Fyey4D5hg?version=3&feature=player_popout" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" allowScriptAccess="always" width="640" height="360"></object>

:) :) :)
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This dog will only be allowed in my house if he fetches me beers and mixes drinks for me!
 
I called the fitness club and said, "my wife is too embarrassed to talk to you so I'm speaking on her behalf. She wants to know how much will it cost for her to have an intensive personal trainer?"

"It depends really. I can give her a ballpark figure if you want."

"She's already got one of those. Can't you just give her an estimate?"
 
According to archaeologists, for millions of years Neanderthal man was not erect.

...which is perfectly understandable considering how fucking ugly Neanderthal woman was.
 
After chatting about our hobbies and interests, I found myself in deep conversation with my girlfriends Dad about the philosophical views of Plato.

I had no fucking idea what he was talking about. I told him I like Play-Doh.
 
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