Jokes 2

Just after my wife had given birth, I asked the doctor, "How soon do you think we'll be able to have sex?"

He winked at me and said, "Well, I'm off duty in ten minutes - meet me in the parking garage."
 
Quote from nutmeg:

Now not many people know this but Winnie the pooh had a half brother ... Vinnie The Shit. Vinnie "The Shit" looked very much like like his brother pooh, but with one major difference, he likes pasta!

As our story starts Pooh bear has been whacked by a made man and replaced by Vinnie "The Shit". But the story of how he was killed is a very long drawn out and complicated one so i shall save it for another day...
More...

Their cousin is Winnie The Pizz.
 
It's too bad Arnold Schwarzenegger had this little misunderstanding because English isn't his native language.

He told Maria that their housekeeper wanted a raise.

Maria said, "Screw her." Any simple-minded, semi-literate Austrian could have made the same mistake, right?

And that's how it could have happened.
To all of you "Gentlemen", this should be a stern warning.

Do not follow the advice of your spouse blindly.

Yo haff bein varned ja
 
The NYSE and the Deutche Boerse merged last week

Don't vorry says chief of German stock exchange "ve are spending $20m to acquire a sense of humour too" and rumours of ships being loaded up with Panzer tanks is entirely untrue
 
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