Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Roses are red
violets are blue
Nutmeg's nose is red
and his balls are blue....
violets are blue
Nutmeg's nose is red
and his balls are blue....
Quote from nutmeg:
The year Mubarak began his reign= 1981
+
The year he will stand down = 2010
GRAND TOTAL = 3991
3+9+9+1 = 22
Not sure where I'm going with this...
Blame Bush....
Ammmnnn, let me see. Teleprompter malfunction. Reference to Obama, I gotta re write this.
The year Mubarak began his reign= 1981
+
The year he will stand down = 2010
GRAND TOTAL = 3991
3+9+9+1 = 22
{Not sure where I'm going with this...}
"Let me make myself clear"
Blame Bush....
<a href="http://www.gifbin.com/981231"><img src="http://www.gifbin.com/bin/22sw757989.gif" alt="funny gifs"></a>
Whose Bad Luck?
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what? 'You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what Martha?'
'What dear?' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
'I'm beginning to think you're bad luck...
**********************************************************************
A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.
One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer.
As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, 'You know what? 'You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side.
When we lost the house, you stayed right here. When my health started failing, you were still by my side... You know what Martha?'
'What dear?' she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.
'I'm beginning to think you're bad luck...
**********************************************************************
I Love This Oldie About Corporate Life
After a long journey trying to cross a vast land, Joe got totally lost and decided to stop at the next small farm to ask for directions. The farmer answered the door and explained, the best he could, how Joe should backtrack all the way to the nearest highway.
"So far, so good," thought Joe as he was walking back to his car. It was then that he noticed a miserable three-legged pig that was also pulling a makeshift wooden leg behind it, as it was trying, painfully and unsuccessfully, to keep up with the other pigs in the pen. Upset at that extraordinary sight, Joe decided he had to return and ask some troubling questions.
"What, that pig?" the farmer retorted. "That, my friend, is a wonderful pig. Two years ago, that brilliant pig pulled our baby boy out of a burning barn, taking a huge risk to save our only son's life."
"Yes, but..." Joe tried to counter.
"The following summer," the farmer continued, "that dedicated, loving pig, saved my own life by throwing me a rope while I was drunk and sinking in the swamp, down there."
"Yes, but, the leg..." Joe was still trying to get in the conversation.
"And just last month," the farmer pressed on, "that beautiful, smart pig warned us that an earthquake was coming, so that we all were able to get out of that other barn you see in a pile down the other side - and saved everybody's life, all sixteen of us."
"Yes, yes, I understand," Joe yelled on top of his lungs, "but what about the leg that's been torn off, and that horrible wooden peg? I can't imagine.... No one could comprehend the pain... What about that?"
"Well, my friend," the farmer said with a calm smile and an all knowing wink, "you can't possibly eat that kind of a pig in one go!"
After a long journey trying to cross a vast land, Joe got totally lost and decided to stop at the next small farm to ask for directions. The farmer answered the door and explained, the best he could, how Joe should backtrack all the way to the nearest highway.
"So far, so good," thought Joe as he was walking back to his car. It was then that he noticed a miserable three-legged pig that was also pulling a makeshift wooden leg behind it, as it was trying, painfully and unsuccessfully, to keep up with the other pigs in the pen. Upset at that extraordinary sight, Joe decided he had to return and ask some troubling questions.
"What, that pig?" the farmer retorted. "That, my friend, is a wonderful pig. Two years ago, that brilliant pig pulled our baby boy out of a burning barn, taking a huge risk to save our only son's life."
"Yes, but..." Joe tried to counter.
"The following summer," the farmer continued, "that dedicated, loving pig, saved my own life by throwing me a rope while I was drunk and sinking in the swamp, down there."
"Yes, but, the leg..." Joe was still trying to get in the conversation.
"And just last month," the farmer pressed on, "that beautiful, smart pig warned us that an earthquake was coming, so that we all were able to get out of that other barn you see in a pile down the other side - and saved everybody's life, all sixteen of us."
"Yes, yes, I understand," Joe yelled on top of his lungs, "but what about the leg that's been torn off, and that horrible wooden peg? I can't imagine.... No one could comprehend the pain... What about that?"
"Well, my friend," the farmer said with a calm smile and an all knowing wink, "you can't possibly eat that kind of a pig in one go!"
Another Great Oldie About Corporate Life
The great, big, magnificent eagle finally knew that he was ready for the Big Journey. He waited for the sun to just peek over the horizon, looked around his vast kingdom, and took off for greater hights, the greatest.
After many days of the most difficult flight, he finally made it to the very top of the highest mountain, and approached its highest, majestic peak, proud at his ultimate achievement. Total victory, the accompishment of a lifetime of a powerful competitor, was finally at hand!
But, just before settling on the bare rock at the very top, the eagle spotted a snail that was already sitting there, apparently enjoying the warm sun rays in the cold air.
"What in the world!..." the eagle yelled. "A snail! A small, disgusting, slimy, weak, worthless creature! Up here! What?"
"Hello, eagle," the snail answered, "welcome to my throne! Have a seat... down there if you don't mind!"
"But, how in the world did YOU make it up here?" the huniliated eagle blurted out.
"How?" the snail said in a confident manner. "But, of course, I took the best way... hiding, crawling, and sucking up!"
The great, big, magnificent eagle finally knew that he was ready for the Big Journey. He waited for the sun to just peek over the horizon, looked around his vast kingdom, and took off for greater hights, the greatest.
After many days of the most difficult flight, he finally made it to the very top of the highest mountain, and approached its highest, majestic peak, proud at his ultimate achievement. Total victory, the accompishment of a lifetime of a powerful competitor, was finally at hand!
But, just before settling on the bare rock at the very top, the eagle spotted a snail that was already sitting there, apparently enjoying the warm sun rays in the cold air.
"What in the world!..." the eagle yelled. "A snail! A small, disgusting, slimy, weak, worthless creature! Up here! What?"
"Hello, eagle," the snail answered, "welcome to my throne! Have a seat... down there if you don't mind!"
"But, how in the world did YOU make it up here?" the huniliated eagle blurted out.
"How?" the snail said in a confident manner. "But, of course, I took the best way... hiding, crawling, and sucking up!"