Jokes 2

[nutmeg]

A double header:

My dear old grandmother, bless her, used to be a massive crossword fan.

I visit her grave every year, but this year I couldn't recall quite where she was buried.

Then I remembered, "3 down, 4 across."

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I'd never be unfaithful to my wife for the reason that I love my house very much.

 

[fhl]

The gov't has been working hard to find out people's opinions on unemployment.

They've finally concluded that a 9% unemployment rate is acceptable to 91% of the population.

 

[nutmeg]

I went to the barbers today and he said, "You're going bald."

I said, "Well you better get a move on then."

 

[nutmeg]

Definition of pointless:

Jobless people on facebook with the status update "thank god its Friday"

 

[nutmeg]

I lost my wedding ring yesterday. I had a brief look under the sofa but wasn't really bothered, so my wife told me to look harder.

I've shaved my hair and bought a new Nike tracksuit, joined a gym, wear a gold chain but I still can't find it.

 

[CaptainObvious]

Just can't stop laughing at this.
<img src=http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=3002754

 

[flytiger]

Quote from CaptainObvious:

Just can't stop laughing at this.
<img src=http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=3002754

Never thought of going to Walmart for a little head.

 

[fhl]

<img src="http://tctechcrunch.files.wordpress.com/2010/11/c-section-comics-iphone-vs-android-vs.jpeg" alt="some_text"/>

 

[nutmeg]

Call me paranoid, but my girlfriend split up with me and I suspect it was because of a love triangle: her, me, and the man I could have been.

 

[nutmeg]

"Hah! And what would you guys do without us women?!"

"Domesticate another animal..."