Jokes 2

Markets are the places where two types of people meet up in the morning — those with experience and those with money.

Towards the end of the day, they exchange their assets and go home.
 
Quote from hoodooman: eat your heart out...
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Love this song, Jambalaya on the Bayou - but this is more my speed:

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:) :) :)
 
Quote from nutmeg:

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
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As they say, it's not the fall down the cliff that kills you... it's the sudden stop! :)
 
We Love Cars

“Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, radiator from a Lexus, tires from a Ford, chassis from a Chrysler, steering from a Mazda, brakes from a VW, body from a Porsche...”

“What did he get?"

“Grand theft auto - two to four years...”

:) :) :)
 
Quote from Yannis:

We Love Cars

“Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, radiator from a Lexus, tires from a Ford, chassis from a Chrysler, steering from a Mazda, brakes from a VW, body from a Porsche...”

“What did he get?"

“Grand theft auto - two to four years...”

:) :) :)
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Sounds more like a recipe for a Microsoft operating system.

Start with XP, then add SP1, SP2, SP3, remove messenger and media player, chat and file swapping. Add in the Adobe trash player, java and whatever other fucking trash is extorted so it can all try to be proprietary hogging resources while it checks 400 times per second for updates. Then take it all back apart again and reassemble it with an intermediate service pack...

The two to four years sounds more relaxing.
 
Quote from Yannis:

We Love Cars

“Uncle tried to make a new kind of car. He took wheels from a Cadillac, radiator from a Lexus, tires from a Ford, chassis from a Chrysler, steering from a Mazda, brakes from a VW, body from a Porsche...”

“What did he get?"

“Grand theft auto - two to four years...”

:) :) :)
More...

One of the original Man in Black's best tunes:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sIuo0KIqD_E
 
I once worked as a comedian at the local Alzheimer's society club, they liked my first joke so much I told it again and again and again.

In fact I told it 26 times.


After the show, this old bloke said to me, "I don't know how you remember them all!"
 
Ruining a perfectly good Movie Poster. . .

Next thing you know they'll destroy all my favorites - like "Animal House", "Second-Hand Lions", "Caddy Shack", "Tin-Cup" and all the other over-50 year old man favorites!!
 

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