Jokes 2

Guy gets ready to make his first ten-second delay skydive. His jumpmaster sees he's nervous and says, "Don't worry. Just get out there, arch, count to ten, and pull your main ripcord. If there's a problem with the main, you know you have a reserve. When you land, the truck will pick you up and take you back to the loft."

So the guy exits, arches and pulls. Nothing happens. He reefs on his reserve ripcord. Dirty laundry comes out of the reserve container. He's falling faster, close to terminal, and he looks at the ground and says, "Great. I bet the dang truck won't be there, either."
 
Tonight at midnight we will parachute into German territory, we will be landing under heavy fire. Many of you will be injured, Many will die.

The worst news however, We're going to help the French..
 
A man in a hot air balloon shouted down to a farmer in a field "where am i?"

The farmer shouted "You cant fool me, you're up there in that little basket!"
 
Quote from nutmeg:

A man in a hot air balloon shouted down to a farmer in a field "where am i?"

The farmer shouted "You cant fool me, you're up there in that little basket!"
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What are you doing, setting up a joke like that? Might as well finish it. . .
 
Quote from nutmeg:

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
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This guy goes on his first solo 15 second "soar" dive, where you soar for 15 second before you pull the rip cord. The instructor tells him "No worries mate, just pull the main rip cord when you are ready. If it fails or hangs up, pull the reserve chute. The truck'll be there in a few minutes to pick you up."

So he jumps. Whoosh! 15 LONG seconds pass. He pulls the main ripcord.

Nothing happens.

"@&^(!" He pulls the reserve. Laundry flies out of his backpack.

"@&^(!" He says. "The @&^(ing truck probably won't be there either!"
 
Ride or die.

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