Jokes 2

Quote from nutmeg:

"Record Winter to Distort Key Jobs Report Next Week"

I think I read that on a Hallmark card.


“When you care enough to say the very best.”
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LAthinker | Feb 26, 2010 05:50 PM ET

This just in:

The entire recession and bank crisis is due to the weather.
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More...

Today, the National Association of Realtors (NAR) released their Pending Home Sales Report for January showing a significant 7.6% decline since December 2009.......

Meanwhile, the NARs chief economist Lawrence Yun suggests the weakness is likely as a result of severe weather and not simply over-indebted "buyer" fatigue:


Eeehhhaaawwwww!!!!!!! Soon I'll have enough material to start an economics thread on weather and the market with plenty of credible sources to cite.

Brrrhhhh, Al Gore is da man..
 
My wife's always complaining that she doesn't have enough time to get to all the places she has to go each day.
So I've decided to help her by moving the washing machine to the kitchen.
 
I was approached by a Rasta in town today who asked me if I believed in the almighty power of Jah. I told him what I always tell the wife.

Push down firm and twist the lid hard.
 
Last summer, on the hottest day of the year, my dad called me and said: "Nutmeg, it's 77 degrees!"

Now, I know not all father/son relationships function on sharing the angle of erections...
 
My Wife and I have been together for such a long time that we finish each other's sentences ... by simply adding, "you fuckin idiot."
 
Obama will try to persuade the public to back his plan to remake the nation's health care system
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What a novel idea.

Back in the day, my parents health care plan was:

Robitussin.

Got a rash?

"Here, put some Robitussin on it".

Break a leg? "Here, put some Robitussin on it".

Toothache? "Drink this."

What is it?

" Robitussin".

(I think Chris Rock did the " Robitussin " skit.
 
Business Economists See Fed Rate Hike in 6 Months
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Surely they aren't paid to say "I know nothing–NOTHING!" in order to avoid being blamed for allowing things to have gotten as far as they already had-which might see them given a one-way trip to the Eastern Front.:D
 
Quote from Optionpro007:

CNN:

Iraq "could be one of the great achievements of this administration," boasted Vice President Joe Biden to CNN's Larry King last month.
More...

I saw that. Gosh I love Joe. Without Obama we'd never have Joe an his great one liners.
 
I salute this inventor.

Regular Kleenex-type tissue box. But the tissues are saturated with eucalyptus. What a fantastic idea!!!

I was surprised that only recently I found them! This guy needs an award, who invented them. I mean they are perfect!

Think about it - Tissue - with Eucalyptus!

Now my penis smells fantastic and became medicinal.

You got a cold honey? =- Here blow on this!!!!
 
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