Jokes 2

[nutmeg]

My wife has started using clay facials with cucumber slices over her eyes and her hair in rollers.

It helps, but I can still tell it's her.

 

[Pension_Admin]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=mJgC9LEBTuQ

 

[nutmeg]

News: Consumer prices excluding food and energy fall.

Isn't that dam skippy, an affordable price on that expensive soup bowl I always wanted.

 

[Xspurt]

Swiss prostitutes trained to use defibrillators in brothels to prevent clients dying

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...ors-in-brothels-to-prevent-clients-dying.html

Does that mean the Swiss are...

nah never mind

 

[nutmeg]

Quote from Xspurt:

Swiss prostitutes trained to use defibrillators in brothels to prevent clients dying

c'mon, if you spent your last dime for a "happy ending" I'm not sure I'd like to be brought back to life. Give me eros or give me death, wtf (forgot who said that). Suicide by pussy, booyah!!!

 

[FredBloggs]

i went to a nightclub last night. i dont mind saying, but i was dressed to kill!..... beard, sandals, turban, back pack.....

 

[nutmeg]

Why did the Pope cross the road?

He crosses everything.

 

[flytiger]

Quote from FredBloggs:

i went to a nightclub last night. i dont mind saying, but i was dressed to kill!..... beard, sandals, turban, back pack.....

Stealing this one.

Http://www.instantrimshot.com

 

[flytiger]

Quote from Xspurt:

Swiss prostitutes trained to use defibrillators in brothels to prevent clients dying

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/new...ors-in-brothels-to-prevent-clients-dying.html

Does that mean the Swiss are...

nah never mind

"According to the British Heart Foundation: "Modern defibrillators are becoming increasingly quick and easy for the lay person to use, "

Shouldn't that be the" lay person on the laid person?"

 

[nutmeg]

When my wife gets out the bath and stands before the mirror, she faces the same problem that all muderers face:

What the hell do you do with the body?