Great find! This is pretty awesome!
Booyah! lol
Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Great find! This is pretty awesome!
Booyah! lol
Worst Pick-up Line:
Guy: What's that smell?
Gal: What do you mean what's that smell?
Guy: It must be you!
Gal: WHAT?!
Guy: Cuz you are da sh*t!
Guy: What's that smell?
Gal: What do you mean what's that smell?
Guy: It must be you!
Gal: WHAT?!
Guy: Cuz you are da sh*t!
HER DIARY:
Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we
could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was
wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and
kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't
say, "I love you too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing
to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV He seemed distant and absent.
Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and
to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HIS DIARY:
I lost on both trades today, but at least I got
laid.
Tonight I thought he was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink. I was shopping with my friends all day long, so I thought he was upset at the fact that I was a bit late, but he made no comment.
Conversation wasn't flowing, so I suggested that we go somewhere quiet so we
could talk. He agreed but he kept quiet and absent. I asked him what was
wrong; he said nothing. I asked him if it was my fault that he was upset.
He said it had nothing to do with me and not to worry.
On the way home I told him that I loved him, he simply smiled and
kept driving. I can't explain his behavior. I don't know why he didn't
say, "I love you too." When we got home I felt as if I had lost him, as if he wanted nothing
to do with me anymore. He just sat there and watched TV He seemed distant and absent.
Finally, I decided to go to bed. About 10 minutes later he came to bed, and
to my surprise he responded to my caress and we made love, but I still felt that he was distracted and his thoughts were somewhere else.
He fell asleep - I cried. I don't know what to do. I'm almost sure that his thoughts are with someone else. My life is a disaster.
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
HIS DIARY:
I lost on both trades today, but at least I got
laid.
A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous woman sitting at the next table. He has been noticing her since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out
of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. . .
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
Suddenly she sneezes, and her glass eye comes flying out
of its socket toward the man. He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air, and hands it back.
'Oh my, I am so sorry,' the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.
'Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,' she says.
They enjoy a wonderful dinner together, and afterwards they go to the theater followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.
After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast. They had a wonderful, wonderful time.
The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been SO incredible!
'You know,' he said, 'you are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet?'
'No,' she replies. . .
'You just happened to catch my eye.'
SECTION 23-29-60. Registration of members of subversive and foreign-controlled organizations.
Every member of a subversive organization, or an organization subject to foreign control, every foreign agent and every person who advocates, teaches, advises or practices the duty, necessity or propriety of controlling, conducting, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States, of this State or of any political subdivision thereof by force or violence or other unlawful means, who resides, transacts any business or attempts to influence political action in this State, shall register with the Secretary of State on the forms and at the times prescribed by him.
SECTION 23-29-90. Penalties.
Any organization or person who violates any of the provisions of this chapter shall, upon conviction thereof, be punished by a fine of not more than twenty-five thousand dollars or imprisonment for not more than ten years, or by both fine and imprisonment.
http://www.scstatehouse.gov/code/t23c029.htm
Okay guys, so a terrorist has to register and pay $5 or they will get fined $25k. Isn't this making it a bit easy for the good guys to know who the bad guys are and what they intend to do?
I seem to be missing something here. Am I in a parallel universe? Where I came from the bad asses didn't file their bad intentions LOL.
Every member of a subversive organization, or an organization subject to foreign control, every foreign agent and every person who advocates, teaches, advises or practices the duty, necessity or propriety of controlling, conducting, seizing or overthrowing the government of the United States, of this State or of any political subdivision thereof by force or violence or other unlawful means, who resides, transacts any business or attempts to influence political action in this State, shall register with the Secretary of State on the forms and at the times prescribed by him.
SECTION 23-29-90. Penalties.
Any organization or person who violates any of the provisions of this chapter shall, upon conviction thereof, be punished by a fine of not more than twenty-five thousand dollars or imprisonment for not more than ten years, or by both fine and imprisonment.
http://www.scstatehouse.gov/code/t23c029.htm
Okay guys, so a terrorist has to register and pay $5 or they will get fined $25k. Isn't this making it a bit easy for the good guys to know who the bad guys are and what they intend to do?
I seem to be missing something here. Am I in a parallel universe? Where I came from the bad asses didn't file their bad intentions LOL.
Two medical students were walking along the street when they saw an old man walking with his legs spread apart.
One of the students said to his friend: "Iâm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I donât think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."
Since they couldnât agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him: "Weâre medical students and couldnât help but notice the way you walk, but we couldnât agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said: "Iâll tell you, but first you must tell me what you think."
One of the students said: "I think itâs Petry Syndrome." The old man said: "You thought, but you are wrong."
Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said: "You thought, but you are wrong."
So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"
The old man said: "I thought it was wind, but I was wrong."
One of the students said to his friend: "Iâm sure he has Petry Syndrome. Those people walk just like that."
The other student says: "No, I donât think so. The old man surely has Zovitzki Syndrome. He walks just as we learned in class."
Since they couldnât agree they decided to ask the old man. They approached him and one of the students said to him: "Weâre medical students and couldnât help but notice the way you walk, but we couldnât agree on the syndrome you might have. Could you tell us what it is?"
The old man said: "Iâll tell you, but first you must tell me what you think."
One of the students said: "I think itâs Petry Syndrome." The old man said: "You thought, but you are wrong."
Then the other student said: "I think you have Zovitzki Syndrome." The old man said: "You thought, but you are wrong."
So they asked him: "Well, what do you have?"
The old man said: "I thought it was wind, but I was wrong."