<object width="560" height="340"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/OykLR105KGI&hl=en_US&fs=1&"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><param name="allowscriptaccess" value="always"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/OykLR105KGI&hl=en_US&fs=1&" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowscriptaccess="always" allowfullscreen="true" width="560" height="340"></embed></object>
Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
A man walked into a library and asked for a book on tantric sex.
âWe ordered it six months agoâ, said the liberian. âBut itâs taking a long time coming.â
So anyways....
A Frenchman an Irishman & a Liberian walk into a bar the bartender looks at the Liberian & says
âI think youâre in the wrong jokeâ
âWe ordered it six months agoâ, said the liberian. âBut itâs taking a long time coming.â
So anyways....
A Frenchman an Irishman & a Liberian walk into a bar the bartender looks at the Liberian & says
âI think youâre in the wrong jokeâ
A very prestigious cardiologist died, and was given a very elaborate funeral by the hospital he worked for most of his life⦠A huge heart⦠covered in flowers stood behind the casket during the service as all the doctors from the hospital sat in awe.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners just -burst- into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, âI am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral⦠Iâm a gynecologist.
The proctologist fainted.
Following the eulogy, the heart opened, and the casket rolled inside.The heart then closed, sealing the doctor in the beautiful heart forever.
At that point, one of the mourners just -burst- into laughter. When all eyes stared at him, he said, âI am so sorry, I was just thinking of my own funeral⦠Iâm a gynecologist.
The proctologist fainted.
A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of
her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in
the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the
principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks
he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd
grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry
can go to the 3rd grade. Ms. Brooks says to the principal,
"Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only
two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not
have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop
the answer,
Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that
means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions
wrong......
her students. The teacher asked, "Harry, what's your problem?"
Harry answered, "I'm too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in
the 3rd grade and I'm smarter than she is! I think I should be in the
3rd grade too!" Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the
principal's office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to
the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks
he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his
questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and
he agreed to take the test. Principal: "What is 3 x 3?" Harry: "9."
Principal: "What is 6 x 6?" Harry: "36."
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd
grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, "I think Harry
can go to the 3rd grade. Ms. Brooks says to the principal,
"Let me ask him some questions."
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, "What does a cow have four of that I have only
two of?"
Harry, after a moment: "Legs."
Ms. Brooks: "What is in your pants that you have but I do not
have?"
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question!
Harry replied: "Pockets."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a dog do that a man steps into?"
Harry: "Pants."
Ms. Brooks: "What starts with a C, ends with a T, is hairy,
oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid?"
Harry: "Coconut."
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks: "What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and
sticky?"
The principal's eyes opened really wide and before he could stop
the answer,
Harry replied, "Bubble gum."
Ms. Brooks: "What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting
down and a dog does on three legs?"
Harry: "Shake hands."
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks: "What word starts with an 'F' and ends in 'K' that
means a lot of heat and excitement?"
Harry: "Firetruck."
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher,
"Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions
wrong......
