Jokes 2

Forget "Rudolph the red nosed reindeer", how about poor old "Brian the brown nosed Reindeer"

He's the one directly behind Rudolph but he can't stop as quickly.
 
This is the reason banks aren't lending. People are scared shitless to even say what state they are living in let alone give the guy a ss number.



lower-my-bills.jpg
 
Quote from nutmeg:

This is the reason banks aren't lending. People are scared shitless to even say what state they are living in let alone give the guy a ss number.



lower-my-bills.jpg
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That hairy ape probably needs a cave, not a house

:D
 
I was in the restaurant yesterday when I suddenly realized I desperately needed to pass gas. The music was really,really loud, so I timed my gas with the beat of the music.

After a couple of songs, I started to feel better. I finished my coffee, and noticed that everybody was staring at me....

Then I suddenly remembered that I was listening to my iPod.
 
Kids being kids, (me included) kids fart at inappropiate times. This has become an inside joke in our family that when we are at Wall marts it is only okay to fart in the housewares dept.

"Dad, I'll be in housewares" I know what they mean.

I can usually trick them on the way to the paint dept. We cut through housewares and I let one rip.

Second on our list of fun things to do at Wall Mart is counting the dead fish in the pet dept.
 
Did you hear about the leper poker game?

One guy threw in his hand and the other three laughed their heads off.





What's the difference between an enzyme and a hormone?

You can't hear an enzyme.





What did the bow-legged doe say?

Thats the last time I will do that for ten bucks.




You stink so bad you make Right Guard turn left, Speed Stick slow down, Secret obvious, and Sure confused.





What''s black, white, red all over, and doesn''t fit through revolving doors?

A nun with a spear through her head.





What's brown and on the piano bench?

Beethoven's last movement!
 
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