Jokes 2

A couple I know were at my house, I had a few beers, they told us that they have 4 sons, need advice on how to get a daughter.

Friend#1: Keep trying!
Friend#2: Change Doctor!
Friend#3: Follow a special diet.
Friend#4: Practice yoga!

But apparently my "Let me try" wasn't very good advice.
 
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Obama Declares Swine Flu a National Emergency
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By THE ASSOCIATED PRESS
Published: October 24, 2009
Filed at 11:23 a.m. ET

WASHINGTON (AP) -- President Barack Obama has declared the swine flu outbreak a national emergency.

The White House on Saturday said Obama signed a proclamation that would allow medical officials to bypass certain federal requirements. Officials described the move as similar to a declaration ahead of a hurricane making landfall.

Swine flu is more widespread now than it's ever been and has resulted in more than 1,000 U.S. deaths so far.

Health authorities say almost 100 children have died from the flu, known as H1N1, and 46 states now have widespread flu activity.

The White House said Obama signed the declaration on Friday evening.

Bet Wall St is worried :D
 
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The reverend rodney king jr. lmao
 
Quote from nutmeg:

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The reverend rodney king jr. lmao
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I never get some of these jokes. You don't wanna mess with an interior decorator, by golly.
 
A truck driver sees a girl about to jump off a bridge, so he pulls to a stop and asks
"what are you doing?"
"Committing suicide" she replies
" Well before you jump how about giving me a blow job?"

When she finishes, he zips up and says
"Wow thats gonna be a wasted talent! Why are you committing suicide?"
She replies "Because my parents don't like me dressing up like a girl!"
 
BBC News:

"The original programme was part of a series called Red Lines, examining taboos in the Arab world, including extra-marital sex in Saudi Arabia.

Mazen Abdul Jawad provoked outrage by describing his techniques for meeting and having sex with Saudi women.

He has apologised and claimed LBC tricked him, but he was jailed for five years and sentenced to 1,000 lashes."

http://news.bbc.co.uk/2/hi/middle_east/8326520.stm
 
At an art exhibition two women were staring at a painting entitled, "Home for Lunch".

The painting was of three very naked, and very black men, sitting on a park bench. What was unusual was that the men on both ends of the bench had black penises, but the man in the middle had a very pink penis. The two women were standing there, staring at the picture, scratching their heads and trying to figure this out. The artist walked by and noticed the women's confusion. "Can I help you with this painting?" he asked.

"Well, yes" said the one woman. "We were curious about the picture of the black men on the bench. Why does the man in the middle have a pink penis?"

"Oh," said the artist. "I'm afraid you've misunderstood the painting. The three men are not African-Americans, they're coal miners, and the fellow in the middle went "Home for Lunch."
 
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