Jokes 2

Quote from nutmeg:

A party of economists was climbing in the Alps .

After several hours they became hopelessly lost.

One of them studied the map for some time, turning it up and down, sighting on distant landmarks, consulting his compass, and finally the sun.

Finally he said, ' OK see that big mountain over there?' 'Yes', answered the others eagerly. 'Well, according to the map, we're standing on top of it.'
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LMAO! I'm using that at the office tomorrow. Good job, Nutmeg.
 
An old Indian lined up all of his 10 little Indian sons and stood in front of them.

He then asked, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?"

Nobody answered him.

He then asked again, "Who push port-a-potty over cliff?" Again nobody answered.

The old Indian said, "I now tell story of how Obama win Nobel Peace Prize'.

The littlest Indian, not wanting to hear this story again replied, "I push port-a-potty over cliff.
 
John was in the fertilized egg business. He had several hundred young layers (hens), called 'pullets,' and ten roosters to fertilize the eggs.
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So the moral of the story is... If you want to get into the fertilized egg business, you should grab your cock and pullet???
 
”The greatest thing about Yahoo Finance message boards, is that you can quote something and totally make up the source.”

– George Washington
 
Quote from nutmeg:

An old Indian ...
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I remember that old movie where the Indian tribe was suffering in a long drought. The son of the chief (Sammy Davis Jr?) was asked to do the rain dance - which he did several times to no avail. Then a neighboring tribe invaded their territory. Preparing to defend their hunting grounds, the leaders told the guy (son of the chief) to do the war dance and lead them to battle. He did it with gusto - and it started to rain... :)
 
Crame's has a new book. Here are the titles up to now:

Jim Cramer's Mad Money: Watch TV, Get Rich

Confessions of a Street Addict

You Got Screwed! Why Wall Street Tanked and Ho...

Jim Cramer's Getting Back to Even

Seems like instead of getting better, he's lowering expectations. A couple of titles currently in the works:

Canning Your Own Vegetables

Social Etiquette in the Yard, A Prison Diary
 
This joke is 700 or 800 years old.

A man wanted money from the Hodja on credit, but the Hodja said:
“I have no money, but I can give you credit. How much do you want?”
 
I always find it hard to remember names, and it's really embarrassing to have to ask people again, so I came up with an ingenious plan: ask them how they spell their name!

Now Lee thinks I'm retarded.
 
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