Jokes 2

nutmeg · Oct 3, 2009

A friend of mine told me that I could meet women in the produce section of a super market. She said that I could ask for advice or information about the various unusual food items. And that could lead to further conversation and maybe marriage.

Here's how it went.

"Excuse me, miss. Could you tell me what this is?"

"That's a tomato, you idiot."

flytiger · Oct 3, 2009

Quote from nutmeg:

A friend of mine told me that I could meet women in the produce section of a super market. She said that I could ask for advice or information about the various unusual food items. And that could lead to further conversation and maybe marriage.

Here's how it went.

"Excuse me, miss. Could you tell me what this is?"

"That's a tomato, you idiot."

What you do, is select a nice size cucumber, and tell her, "you know, I posed for this."

Or maybe, "isn't it interesting that lettuce comes in a head?"

The melon section opens up all sorts of possibilities.

nutmeg · Oct 3, 2009

This is the tomato I was telling ya about.

DirkDigler · Oct 4, 2009

"...little too much magnesium I guess..."

flytiger · Oct 4, 2009

TGregg · Oct 4, 2009

Quote from DirkDigler:

"...little too much magnesium I guess..."

Interesting how the blast changes his shirt and turns the lights on.

Funny though.

TGregg · Oct 4, 2009

So The One couldn't get the Olympics to Chicago. I guess this puts all those Hitler comparisons to rest. After all, Hitler got the Olympics to Berlin.

nutmeg · Oct 4, 2009

Quote from TGregg:

Interesting how the blast changes his shirt and turns the lights on.

Funny though.

Sheeeeetttttt. I was doing that stuff at 8 years old in my garage. I used to buy rolls and rolls of caps (the type for a cap gun). Then you could buy rolls of magnesium "tape" at the hardware store, it was like a wick on a roll. Then buy that good airplane model glue, that stuff burns good. I only had one major "incident" then my dad took away my "chemistry" set and bought me a bike and gave me some free maps from Triple A (they used to give them away free back in the day). I took the hint. They were always looking for me.

flytiger · Oct 5, 2009

Quote from DirkDigler:

"...little too much magnesium I guess..."

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If you're kid can't understand the works of Darwin, if he's confused about it's dominant precepts and themes, show him this.

Too bad it didn't blow his nuts off, because this guy does not need to reproduce. " Fireworks for Halloween"? What happened to snickers bars and tootsie rolls?

nutmeg · Oct 5, 2009

This is funny.

On Dec 11th, 2006 the Office of Thrift supervision convened a "Housing Summit". The key issue - declining home prices nationwide. Attendees include an economist from Fannie Mae, a top regulator from OCC and various regulators from Washington agencies.

Consider the time frame (2006) and the prior months of concern to motivate a summit.

Consider the people who attended the forum, regulators who have no authority to regulate. So they issued "guidance" which ended up in the trash can and for all practical purposes a waste of a taxpayers dime on even having the meeting, no one did nothing.

The rating agencies became the regulators by default.

It is hilarious when the media asks "Did anyone forsee the subprime crisis?" Ha, they were there at the meeting, it was held at the National Press Club.