Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Like most folks in this country, I have a job. I work, they pay me. I pay my taxes and the government distributes my taxes as it sees fit. In order to get that paycheck in my case, I am required to pass a random urine test (with which I have no problem). What I do have a problem with is the distribution of my taxes to people who don't have to pass a urine test. So, here is my Question: Shouldn't one have to pass a urine test to get a welfare check because I have to pass one to earn it for them? Please understand, I have no problem with helping people get back on their feet. I do, on the other hand, have a problem with helping someone sitting on their ass - doing drugs, while I work. . . . Can you imagine how much money each state would save if people had to pass a urine test to get a public assistance check? I guess we could title that program, 'Urine or You're Out'.
Speaking Of Urine
A renowned professor teaching medicine was giving a lecture. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of everything, especially color, smell, sight, and taste. And, never be disgusted by anything. Now, everyone, do as I do..."
After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.
After the last student was done, the old professor shook his head. "I can see that you try not to be disgusted. But, if any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth, you idiots!!"
A renowned professor teaching medicine was giving a lecture. He took out a jar of yellow liquid. "This," he explained, "is urine. To be a doctor, you have to be observant of everything, especially color, smell, sight, and taste. And, never be disgusted by anything. Now, everyone, do as I do..."
After saying so, he dipped his finger into the jar and put it into his mouth. His class watched in amazement, most in disgust. But being the good students that they were, the jar was passed, and one by one, they dipped their finger into the jar and put it into their mouths.
After the last student was done, the old professor shook his head. "I can see that you try not to be disgusted. But, if any of you had been observant, you would have noticed that I put my second finger into the jar and my third finger into my mouth, you idiots!!"
Following The Rules
One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food from the shelf. But, when she went to pay for it, the cashier said "you can't buy that dog food, we need evidence that you have a dog, that's the rule." So she brought in her dog and she got the dog food.
The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said again, "you can't have that cat food, we need evidence that you have a cat, that's the rule." So she went home and got her cat and was allowed to buy the cat food.
The following day the same old lady went in again and she had a box. She told the cashier to put his hand in it, so he did; it felt warm and soft. The little old lady then said "now that your stupid rules are satisfied, can I have some toilet paper please!"
One day an old woman walked into a shop and got some dog food from the shelf. But, when she went to pay for it, the cashier said "you can't buy that dog food, we need evidence that you have a dog, that's the rule." So she brought in her dog and she got the dog food.
The next day the same old lady went to get some cat food and the cashier said again, "you can't have that cat food, we need evidence that you have a cat, that's the rule." So she went home and got her cat and was allowed to buy the cat food.
The following day the same old lady went in again and she had a box. She told the cashier to put his hand in it, so he did; it felt warm and soft. The little old lady then said "now that your stupid rules are satisfied, can I have some toilet paper please!"
