Jokes 2

A pharmacist walks into his shop to find a man leaning against a wall. He asks his assistant what's with the guy over there by the wall. The assistant replies that the guy came in to get something for his cough that had plagued him over the past two days. The assistant explains that he couldn't find any cough syrup so he gave the guy a glass of seltzer to drink, telling him that this was a very powerful laxative that was great on caughs too.

The pharmacist then starts shouting at his assistant, calling him an idiot and explaining that he cannot treat a cough with, let alone just pure seltzer water.

The assistant replies, "Of course you can, sir, look at him, he's shit scared to cough now!"

:) :) :)
 
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I just got back from the dollar store, they sell Allah Akbar exploding cat collars.

You put the collar on and it reacts with water. You let the cat outside when it rains and boom.
 
Today, when I came out of the dollar store someone asked me if I wanted to find Jesus.

I replied that if they were still looking for him after 2000 years, I don't think I would be much help.
 
On the way home from the dollar store I ran over a dog. I can't remember if you have to report it to the police if you run over a dog. Any advice would be welcome.

Also can you tell me if I can keep her purse.
 
you are not telling jokes
this is a joke section
I feel that your numerous posts have caused a decline in the quantity and quality of jokes submitted
please start your own section
 
This guy got lost on a deserted island and was there for three years.

When a passing cargo ship found him, they noticed there were three huts the man had built, so they asked him about them.

The man who had been lost said that the first hut was his home, and the second hut was his church.

They asked him what his third hut was for.

He told them that it was his old church, and he had gotten mad and left and built a new church.
 
Quote from stsslick:

you are not telling jokes
this is a joke section
I feel that your numerous posts have caused a decline in the quantity and quality of jokes submitted
please start your own section
More...

Is that you Mom?
 
Quote from stsslick:

you are not telling jokes
this is a joke section
I feel that your numerous posts have caused a decline in the quantity and quality of jokes submitted
please start your own section
More...

take no notice nut - I don't remember him ever telling a funny joke !!
 
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