Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
**So we place our order**
Then she repeats our order to us:
You oh: (You ordered)
⢠Wah oh fai lai, no ay', no uh'
(1 order fried rice, no eggs, no onions)
⢠Wah oh wai lai
(1 order white rice)
Ay foo yuh'
(Egg Fu Yung)
⢠She Shau Shih'
(Sweet and Sour Shrimp)
She Shau Po'
(Sweet and Sour Pork)
⢠Ko Jih' Chih'
(Cold Ginger Chicken)
â¢*Cha Shoo Bau
(Chair Siu Bau)
⢠Bee Boh'
(Beef Broccoli)
⢠Kree Wuh Tah
(Crispy Won Ton)
⢠Duh ay'
(Duck Eggs)
Oh. Be bah ai wah
(O.K.. Be right back with iced water)
Then she repeats our order to us:
You oh: (You ordered)
⢠Wah oh fai lai, no ay', no uh'
(1 order fried rice, no eggs, no onions)
⢠Wah oh wai lai
(1 order white rice)
Ay foo yuh'
(Egg Fu Yung)
⢠She Shau Shih'
(Sweet and Sour Shrimp)
She Shau Po'
(Sweet and Sour Pork)
⢠Ko Jih' Chih'
(Cold Ginger Chicken)
â¢*Cha Shoo Bau
(Chair Siu Bau)
⢠Bee Boh'
(Beef Broccoli)
⢠Kree Wuh Tah
(Crispy Won Ton)
⢠Duh ay'
(Duck Eggs)
Oh. Be bah ai wah
(O.K.. Be right back with iced water)
Dr. Stunata's Medical Dictionary
ARTERY - The study of paintings
BACTERIA - Back door of a cafeteria
BARIUM - What doctors do when a patient dies
BOWEL - A letter like a, e, i, o, or u
CAESAREAN SECTION - A neighborhood in Rome
CAT SCAN - Searching for a kitty
CAUTERIZE - Had eye contact with her
COLIC - A sheep dog
COMA - A punctuation mark
D & C - Where Washington is
DILATE - To live long
ENEMA - Not a friend
FESTER - Quicker
FIBULA - A small lie
GENITAL - Not a Jew
G.I. SERIES - A soldier's ball game
IMPOTENT - Distinguished, well known
LABOR PAIN - Getting hurt at work
MEDICAL STAFF - A doctor's cane
MORBID - A higher offer
NITRATES - Cheaper than day rates
NODE - Was aware of
OUT PATIENT - A person who has fainted
PAP SMEAR - A fatherhood test
PELVIS - A cousin of Elvis
POST OPERATIVE - Letter carrier
RECOVERY ROOM - Place to do upholstery
RECTUM - Dang near killed 'em
SECRETION - Hiding something
SEIZURE - Roman emperor
TABLET - Small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS - Getting sick at the airport
ULTRASOUND - Good music
URINE - Opposite of "You're out!"
VARICOSE - Near by
VEIN - Conceited
ARTERY - The study of paintings
BACTERIA - Back door of a cafeteria
BARIUM - What doctors do when a patient dies
BOWEL - A letter like a, e, i, o, or u
CAESAREAN SECTION - A neighborhood in Rome
CAT SCAN - Searching for a kitty
CAUTERIZE - Had eye contact with her
COLIC - A sheep dog
COMA - A punctuation mark
D & C - Where Washington is
DILATE - To live long
ENEMA - Not a friend
FESTER - Quicker
FIBULA - A small lie
GENITAL - Not a Jew
G.I. SERIES - A soldier's ball game
IMPOTENT - Distinguished, well known
LABOR PAIN - Getting hurt at work
MEDICAL STAFF - A doctor's cane
MORBID - A higher offer
NITRATES - Cheaper than day rates
NODE - Was aware of
OUT PATIENT - A person who has fainted
PAP SMEAR - A fatherhood test
PELVIS - A cousin of Elvis
POST OPERATIVE - Letter carrier
RECOVERY ROOM - Place to do upholstery
RECTUM - Dang near killed 'em
SECRETION - Hiding something
SEIZURE - Roman emperor
TABLET - Small table
TERMINAL ILLNESS - Getting sick at the airport
ULTRASOUND - Good music
URINE - Opposite of "You're out!"
VARICOSE - Near by
VEIN - Conceited
From IMAO.US:
Read the rest at http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/06/top-ten-reasons-obama-hasnt-spoken-out-about-iran/
Read the rest at http://www.imao.us/index.php/2009/06/top-ten-reasons-obama-hasnt-spoken-out-about-iran/
A boy in the sixth grade comes home after school one day. His mother notices that he's got a big smile on his face.
She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"
"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"
The mother is stunned.
"You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."
Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."
"That's right, Dad."
"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."
"That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My butt is killing me."
She asks, "Did anything special happen at school today?"
"Yes, Mom. I had sex with my English teacher!"
The mother is stunned.
"You're going to talk about this with your father when he gets home."
Well, when dad comes home and hears the news he is pleased as punch. Beaming with pride, he walks over to his son and says, "Son, I hear you had sex with your English teacher."
"That's right, Dad."
"Well, you became a man today - this is cause for celebration. Let's head out for some ice cream, and then I'll buy that new bike you've been asking for."
"That sounds great, Dad, but I can I have a football instead? My butt is killing me."
Here's one the youngsters won't understand:
A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
The 60 year old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing 3 times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he said, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."
The doctor said, "At 106 years why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"
His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Did I say he wanted to?"
A 60 year old man went to a doctor for a check-up. The doctor told him, "You're in terrific shape. There's nothing wrong with you. Why, you might live forever; you have the body of a 35 year old. By the way, how old was your father when he died?"
The 60 year old responded, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was surprised and asked, "How old is he and is he very active?"
The 60 year old responded, "Well, he is 82 years old and he still goes skiing 3 times a season and surfing three times a week during the summer."
The doctor couldn't believe it! So he said, "Well, how old was your grandfather when he died?"
The 60 year old responded again, "Did I say he was dead?"
The doctor was astonished. He said, "You mean to tell me you are 60 years old and both your father and your grandfather are alive? Is your grandfather very active?"
The 60 year old said, "He goes skiing at least once a season and surfing once a week during the summer. Not only that," said the patient, "my grandfather is 106 years old, and next week he is getting married again."
The doctor said, "At 106 years why on earth would your grandfather want to get married?"
His patient looked up at the doctor and said, "Did I say he wanted to?"
Two families moved from Pakistan to America. When they arrived the two fathers made a bet - in a year's time whichever family had become more American would win.
A year later they met again. The first man said, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
The second man replied, "F*** you, towel head."
A year later they met again. The first man said, "My son is playing baseball, I had McDonalds for breakfast and I'm on my way to pick up a case of Bud, how about you?"
The second man replied, "F*** you, towel head."