Jokes 2

Penis
English: Male Genitals

Filipino: "Finish"
"Oi boy, bepore (before) you go out and play, you must penis your homework!"

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Chicken Nut Bread
English: Some strange bread I've never heard of


Filipino: "She cannot breath"
"Oi, is dis dee 911 num-bare? You must hurry dee ambulance.. my wife.. chicken nut bread!"

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Sea Shore
English: Sea Shore

Filipino: Seizure

""Oi, is dis dee 911 num-bare? You must hurry dee ambulance.. my wife.. chicken nut bread and she iss having d' sea shore!"
 
NK to send missle to Hawaii, in other news

Room Service (RS): "Morrin. Roon sirbees."



Guest (G): "Sorry, I thought I dialed room-service."



RS: "Rye..Roon sirbees..morrin! Jewish to oddor sunteen??"



G: "Uh..yes..I'd like some bacon and eggs."



RS: "Ow July den?"



G: "What??"



RS: "Ow July den?...pryed, boyud, poochd?"



G : "Oh, the eggs! How do I like them? Sorry, scrambled please."



RS: "Ow July dee baykem? Crease?"



G: "Crisp will be fine."



RS : "Hokay. An Sahn toes?"



G: "What?"



RS:"An toes. July Sahn toes?"



G: "I don't think so."



RS: "No? Judo wan sahn toes??"



G: "I feel really bad about this, but I don't know what 'judo wan sahn toes' means."



RS: "Toes! Toes!...Why jew don juan toes? Ow bow Anglish moppin we bodder?"



G: "English muffin!! I've got it! You were saying 'Toast.' Fine. Yes, an English muffin will be fine."



RS: "We bodder?"



G: "No...just put the bodder on the side."



RS: "Wad?"



G: "I mean butter...just put it on the side."



RS: "Copy?"



G: "Excuse me?"



RS: "Copy...tea...meel?"



G: "Yes. Coffee, please, and that's all."



RS: "One Minnie. Scramah egg, crease baykem, Anglish moppin we bodder on sigh and copy....rye??"



G: "Whatever you say."



RS: "Tenjewberrymuds."



G : "You're very welcome."
__________________
Aloha,
 
This lady is having a bed wetting problem, so she decides to go to the doctor.
The doctor tells her to go and get undressed and wait for him in the other room.
When the doctor goes into the room he tells the lady to stand on her head facing the mirror.
She figures he is a doctor and gets in front of the mirror.
The doctor goes over to the lady and rests his chin between her legs and looks in the mirror.
After a few minutes he stands up and tells the lady to go ahead and put her clothes back on and he will talk to her when she is dressed.
The lady puts her clothes on and asks the doctor what is wrong with her.
He tells her that she needs to quit drinking before she goes to bed.
The lady asks the doctor why he had her get naked in front of the mirror and stand on her head.
He replies, "I wanted to see how I would look with a beard."
 
Quote from hoodooman:

double ugh
More...

LOL.

It's a take off on the Oprah Winfrey bit, where he makes her get naked , get on all fours, and get in front of the window.

when she asks why, he tells her he ordered a brown leather sofa, and wanted to see how it'd look.


Now that I told that joke, I guess I won't be getting a Pontiac. But then again, neither will anyone else.
 
Dang, the patient must've had an infection. Because Dr Stunata tried the same thang.




green_beard.jpg
 
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