Jokes 2

How cool is that? Give a bum a bum check. Of course, this coming from a guy who handed out coins from a casino in Reno to the homeless in nyc.

checks2.jpg
 
"Nutmeg, you should buy some GM, it's only 1.50 a share"

"Yea, okay Ma"

"No, I'm serious hold onto it for a few years"

"Ma, start a journal"

"On what?

"Never mind"
:eek:
 
Christmas in May? :D



Night Befo' Crizzmus

Wus da night afo' Crizzmus, and all thru da hood,
everybody be sleepin' and da sleepin' be good.
We hunged up our stockins, an hoped like all heck,
That brother Obama gunna brang us our checks.

All of da family, was lay'in on da flo',
my sister wif her gurlfriend,
my brother wif some ho.
Ashtrays was all full , empty beer cans and all
when I heared such a fuss, I thunk...."Sh'eet, must be da law".

I pulled the sheet off da window and what I'ze could see,
I was spectin' the sherrif, wif a warrent fo' me.
But what I'ze did see, made me say, "Lawd look 'a dat!"
Dere was a huge watermelon, pulled by eight big-ass rats.

Now ovah da years, Santy Claws he be white,
but it looks like us brothas, got a black un' tonight.
Faster than a poe'lice car, my homeboy he came,
and whupped up on dem rats, as he called dem by name.

On Biden, On Jessie, On Pelosi and Hillary Who ,
On Fannie, On Freddie, On Ayers, and Slick Willy too.
Obama landed dat melon, right there in da street,
I knowed it fo' sho', - can you believe that Sheet?

Dat Santy don't need no chimley, he picked da lock on my do',
an I sez to myself, "Son o' bitch...he don did dis befo!"
He had a big bag, full of presents - at first I suspeck?
Wif "Air Jordans" and fake gold, to wear roun' my neck.

But he left me no presents, just started stealin my shit.
He got my guns and my crack, and my new burglers kit.
Den, wif my shit in his bag, out da windo' he flew,
I sho' woulda shanked him, but he snagged my blade too!

He jumped back on dat melon, wif out even a hitch,
and wuz gone in two seconds, da democrat sonofabitch.
So nex year I be hopin', a white Santy we git,
'cause a black Santy Claws, just ain't worf a shit!
 
The big difference between sex for money and sex for free is that sex for money costs less.

Which reminds me. I've decided that I stand by the phrase "you are what you eat".

Ever since I married her my wife has been acting like a massive dick.
 
You can tell the bronx is a shithole, just drove past a house with a big banner hanging from the window, it read "HAPPY 30TH BIRTHDAY GRANDMA"
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Back
Top