Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
A man and his wife are lying in bed, the wife asks her wealthy husband if he has any idea how to she could enlarge her breasts, he replies,
"Take a roll of toilet paper and rub it between the middle of your breasts several times a day, that will do the trick"
The wife replies, "Are you sure that will work"?
The husband says, "Judging by the size of your arse I'm absolutely certain".
"Take a roll of toilet paper and rub it between the middle of your breasts several times a day, that will do the trick"
The wife replies, "Are you sure that will work"?
The husband says, "Judging by the size of your arse I'm absolutely certain".
California budget cutbacks are getting severe:
Somewhere is a hilarious flash movie much like this one, but it's a mock driver's training one. It's called something like Stop & Go or Green & Red, but I can't seem to find it.
Another Good Oldie
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her - David Boisonette
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together - Sacha Guitry.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher - Socrates.
Women inspire us to great things, and prevent us from achieving them - Anon.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want? Alexander Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me - Sigmund Freund.
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant six times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, and I go Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays - Anon.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage - Sam Kinison
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't - James Holt McGavra
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut your mouth - Patrick Murra
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Nash
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to - Anon.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met - Henny Youngman
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong - Rodney Dangerfield
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said more or less the same thing: 'You can have mine, please...' - Anon.
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive... - Anon.
When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her - David Boisonette
After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together - Sacha Guitry.
By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher - Socrates.
Women inspire us to great things, and prevent us from achieving them - Anon.
The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, 'What does a woman want? Alexander Dumas
I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me - Sigmund Freund.
'Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant six times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, Thursdays and Saturdays, and I go Mondays, Wednesdays and Fridays - Anon.
There's a way of transferring funds that is even faster than electronic banking. It's called marriage - Sam Kinison
I've had bad luck with both my wives. The first one left me, and the second one didn't - James Holt McGavra
Two secrets to keep your marriage brimming: whenever you're wrong, admit it; whenever you're right, shut your mouth - Patrick Murra
The most effective way to remember your wife's birthday is to forget it once... Nash
You know what I did before I married? Anything I wanted to - Anon.
My wife and I were happy for twenty years. Then we met - Henny Youngman
A good wife always forgives her husband when she's wrong - Rodney Dangerfield
A man inserted an 'ad' in the classifieds: 'Wife wanted'. Next day he received a hundred letters. They all said more or less the same thing: 'You can have mine, please...' - Anon.
First Guy (proudly): 'My wife's an angel!' Second Guy: 'You're lucky, mine's still alive... - Anon.