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Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Yesterday I was buying a 2 large bags of Purina dog chow for my dogs Winston, Chief, Gus, and Maximus. I was about to check out when a woman behind me asked if I had a dog. What did she think, I had an elephant?
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every
hole in my body and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load y our pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
Since I had little else to do, on impulse, I told her that no, I didn't have a dog, and that I was starting the Purina Diet again, although I probably shouldn't because I ended up in the hospital last time. On the bright side though, I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of every
hole in my body and IVs in both arms.
I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it works is to load y our pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry and that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.
Horrified, she asked if I ended up in intensive care because the dog food had poisoned me. I told her no; I had stopped in the middle of the parking lot to lick my butt and a car hit me.
To make a long story short. There was a costume party.
You had to dress up as an emotion.
Two guys from Brooklyn arrive.
One is standing stark naked one with his knob in a bowl of custard, and the other with his knob stuck in a pear.
I was really shocked and said, "Well, what the heck are you doing? You could get arrested standing like that out there in the street like that. Anyhow what emotion is this supposed to be?!?!"
Tony replies, "Well, Oim fokn discustard, and Vinny here has just come In despair"
You had to dress up as an emotion.
Two guys from Brooklyn arrive.
One is standing stark naked one with his knob in a bowl of custard, and the other with his knob stuck in a pear.
I was really shocked and said, "Well, what the heck are you doing? You could get arrested standing like that out there in the street like that. Anyhow what emotion is this supposed to be?!?!"
Tony replies, "Well, Oim fokn discustard, and Vinny here has just come In despair"