Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
A cop pulled an Amish cart over.
He told the women driving that her reflector was broken, and that he was upset about the strap wrapping around the horse's genitals, citing that it might cause discomfort.
When she got home, she told her husband, "Jebidiah, we need to fix the reflector, and the Emergency brake.
He told the women driving that her reflector was broken, and that he was upset about the strap wrapping around the horse's genitals, citing that it might cause discomfort.
When she got home, she told her husband, "Jebidiah, we need to fix the reflector, and the Emergency brake.
And just in case some of you don't think that anyone could be called "Jebidiah" and go on to check the veracity of what nutmeg is telling us... like I did 
... here is a possible match with a picture added below to prove it ... if, of course, we allow for the possibility that the man was not born Amish:
(from www.poormanswiskey.com)
"Eli Jebidiah - Purveyor of Acoustic Eclectica and Vocal Shamanist Tiger
Eli is the inspiration behind Lynyrd Skynyrd's hit song, "That Smell?" Born into a forgotten sect of the Hopi Tribe, young Crazy Feather (Eli Jebidiah as we now know him) was raised in the old ways. He was abducted while gathering forest berries in the Kootenay mountains when he was mistakened for a Bald Haired Sasquatch by cryptozoologist Dr. P. Ness. After a thorough physical examination, resident phylogenetisists declared him to be erroneously classified and turned him loose into the streets. Skilled in the art of food foraging and tipi erecting, Eli adapted his nomadic lifestyle of the Canadian wilderness to survive in the concrete jungles of urbania here in the good ol' USA. These days he passes the time between vision quests by playing a variety of instruments in Poor Man's Whiskey.
* Vital Stats: Eli can bench 72 lbs, requires Elvis shades to help counteract his blindspot, and has a bionic left big toe.
* Turn Ons: A dry Tipi, phrenology, and studying the ways of the Paper Tiger.
* Turn Offs: Facial hair, cabbage flavored licorice, and songs about love gone wrong.
* Favorite Instruments: the Green Suitcase and the James Brown Rubber Ducky.
* Eli would like to thank his wardrobe consultants Lisa Tracey and Georgia Birchler for keeping him clothed."
... here is a possible match with a picture added below to prove it ... if, of course, we allow for the possibility that the man was not born Amish:(from www.poormanswiskey.com)
"Eli Jebidiah - Purveyor of Acoustic Eclectica and Vocal Shamanist Tiger
Eli is the inspiration behind Lynyrd Skynyrd's hit song, "That Smell?" Born into a forgotten sect of the Hopi Tribe, young Crazy Feather (Eli Jebidiah as we now know him) was raised in the old ways. He was abducted while gathering forest berries in the Kootenay mountains when he was mistakened for a Bald Haired Sasquatch by cryptozoologist Dr. P. Ness. After a thorough physical examination, resident phylogenetisists declared him to be erroneously classified and turned him loose into the streets. Skilled in the art of food foraging and tipi erecting, Eli adapted his nomadic lifestyle of the Canadian wilderness to survive in the concrete jungles of urbania here in the good ol' USA. These days he passes the time between vision quests by playing a variety of instruments in Poor Man's Whiskey.
* Vital Stats: Eli can bench 72 lbs, requires Elvis shades to help counteract his blindspot, and has a bionic left big toe.
* Turn Ons: A dry Tipi, phrenology, and studying the ways of the Paper Tiger.
* Turn Offs: Facial hair, cabbage flavored licorice, and songs about love gone wrong.
* Favorite Instruments: the Green Suitcase and the James Brown Rubber Ducky.
* Eli would like to thank his wardrobe consultants Lisa Tracey and Georgia Birchler for keeping him clothed."
He inhaled Alice? Wtf? Cough her up. Get 'em a Kleenex. Mommy, Alice is gone.....
Dude, whattya got in the bag? I'm huffin Alice, lmao
Democracy is buying a big house you can't afford with money you don't have to impress people you wish were dead.
And, unlike communism, democracy does not mean having just one ineffective political party; it means having two ineffective political parties.
Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto -- usually a mop or a leaf blower.
It means that with proper timing and scrupulous bookkeeping, anyone can die owing the government a huge amount of money.
And, unlike communism, democracy does not mean having just one ineffective political party; it means having two ineffective political parties.
Democracy is welcoming people from other lands, and giving them something to hold onto -- usually a mop or a leaf blower.
It means that with proper timing and scrupulous bookkeeping, anyone can die owing the government a huge amount of money.