Jokes 2

I was sittin' in this place, minding my own business, having a beer. A three legged dog came in, and jumped up on the stool next to me.

Bartender says, "Can I help you?"

Dog says, "I'm looking for the man that shot my paw."



I had a dog one time born without a nose. Know how he smelled?????????
 
spank.jpg
 
I had a dog one time born without a nose. Know how he smelled?????????

Gosh Doc, it couldn't get any worse, could it?

"Yes, I'm afraid so"

I had a pig that was born with no ears.

Know how he hears?

Swine language. eeeeeeeeeehhhhhhhhhaaaaaaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww.
 
A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?”
He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?”
She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”
 
A couple has returned from their honeymoon and it was obvious to everyone that they are not talking to each other. The groom's best man takes him aside and asks what's wrong.
"Well," replied the man "when we had finished making love on the first night, as I got up to go to the bathroom, I put a $50 bill on the pillow without thinking."

"Oh, you shouldn't worry about that too much," said his friend. "I'm sure your wife will get over it soon enough - she can't expect you to have been saving yourself all these years!"

The groom nodded gently and said, "I don't know if I can get over this though: She gave me $20 change!''
 
Quote from Optionpro007:

A blonde goes into the dry cleaners to have her sweater cleaned. She asks the clerk, “How much?”
He doesn’t hear her correctly and says “Come again?”
She giggles and says “No…it’s just mustard this time.”
More...

Now that's a joke. (Rim shot here).

Same joke. Walrus drops his car off at the Mechanic. Hot day, he goes across the street to the Dairy Queen. Comes back, Mechanic says.:

"Looks like you blew a seal."

"Naw", says the Walrus, wiping his mouth."It's just a little ice cream."
 
Diff joke, same pace.

Woman flags down a cab. "Cabbie, there's an extra fifty for you if you can get me to the airport in twenty minutes!!!!".

"Hop in Lady!!!"

Cabbie gets a flat on the parkway, He's looking at it scratching his head. The woman rummages around in her purse looking for anything that will help. She finds a tool. Looks at the cabbie, and says,

"Screwdriver?"

"Yeah, why not. You already missed your plane."
 
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