Jokes 2

Welcome to the gutter with the rest of us!!!

Nixon had the economy in such a mess, and he was trying to instill confidence in the markets. He said, "If I wasn't President, I'd buy stocks."

some trader was quoted, "If he wasn't President, I'd buy stocks too."

Nothing wrong with old, if it's good. Plenty of funny dudes and dudettes before we came along.

Dorothy Parker in the Algonquin Club. Someone came in and said, "President Hoover died."

She replied, "How can they tell?"
 
Bill Clinton's letter to John Hinckley

For those of you who may not be completely aware of John Hinckley, who he is, what he did, and why, here's a little history.

John Hinckley was a seriously deranged young man who shot President Reagan many years back. John was absolutely obsessed with movie star Jodie Foster, and extremely jealous as well, and in his twisted mind, loved Jodie Foster to the point that to make himself known to her, attempted to assassinate President Reagan.

With that in mind...the staff at the mental facility treating John Hinckley reports intercepting the following letter from Bill Clinton:


To: John Hinckley

From: Bill Clinton

Dear John,

Hillary and I wan ted to drop you a short note to tell you how pleased we are with the great strides you are making in your recovery. In our country's new spirit of understanding and forgiveness, we want you to know there is a bilateral consensus of compassion and forgiveness abroad throughout the land.

Hillary and I want you to know that no grudge is borne against you for shooting President Reagan. We, above all, are aware of how the mental stress and pain could have driven you to such an act of Desperation. Hillary and I are confident that you will soon make a complete recovery and return to your family to join the world again as a healthy and productive young man.

Best wishes,

Bill & Hillary Clinton

PS: Barack Obama is screwing Jodie Foster!
 
this is terrible. How can we ever come together as a country with such blatant racism?!!??? Separate, but equal, computer desks are not equal!!!!!

<img src=http://elitetrader.com/vb/attachment.php?s=&postid=1908637/>
 

Attachments

This is my desk just before I invented the Euro. I'm wearing make up and a dye job. Notice the fly on the wall, he looks like a frog if you drink alone.


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Quote from nutmeg:

This is my desk just before I invented the Euro. I'm wearing make up and a dye job. Notice the fly on the wall, he looks like a frog if you drink alone.


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More...

You're a fat bastard, too. Jesus! Have a salad!!!!:D
 
My desk is really ghetto. I have three folding tables. I have a statue of Aunt Jemima, 2 fake Rolex watches, and a coffee cup filled with pens, pencils, shoe horn, one straw, swiss army knife and yesterdays coffee with cream.
 
CNN's top town and not a nutmeg in sight !

1. Middleton, Wis.
Population: 17,400
Median home price (2006): $290,269
Average property taxes (2005): $5,067
Pros: Small-town charm; booming economy; extensive parks and bike trails
Cons: Do you like winter?

Many Middletonians commute to Madison, but Middleton proper has a strong pool of jobs too, mainly in the pharmaceutical, tech and medical industries. After business hours, Middleton has more going on than you might expect for a town of 17,000. The beer garden at the Capital Brewery is host to corporate mixers, and there are good restaurants downtown.

But make no mistake: Family life is what Middleton is about. In the summer you'll see parents and kids plying the bike trails of the conservancy, splashing in the town's waterslide-equipped pool or sailing on Lake Mendota. On the downside, winter is tough, and there's not great ethnic diversity.

hoorah for hicksville
 
I recently picked a new primary care doctor. After two visits and exhaustive lab tests, he said I was doing "fairly well" for my age.

A little concerned about that comment, I couldn't resist asking him, "Do you think I'll live to be 90?"

He asked, "Do you smoke tobacco, or drink alcohol?"

"Oh no," I replied. "I'm not doing drugs, either!"

Then he asked, "Do you eat rib-eye steaks and barbecued ribs?"

I said, "No, my former doctor said that all red meat is unhealthy!"

"Do you spend a lot of time in the sun, like playing golf, sailing, hiking, or bicycling?"

"No, I don't," I said.

He asked, "Do you gamble, drive fast cars, or have a lot of sex?"

"No," I said.

He looked at me and said, "Then, why do you even give a shit?"
 
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