Jokes 2

I remember my first blind date. We agreed to meet at a restaurant. When she showed up, i couldn't beleive it, she was pregnant.

We talked a while and she told me she had a fight with her boyfriend. I told her, to tell her boyfriend, the next time they fight he should knock her down not knock her up.
 
THE HALF-WIT
A man owned a small farm in Tennessee. The Tennessee Dept. of Labor
claimed he was not paying proper wages to his help and sent an agent out
to interview him. 'I need a list of your employees and how much you pay
them,' demanded the agent.

'Well,' replied the farmer, 'there's my farm hand who's been with me for 3
years. I pay him $200 a week plus free room and board. The cook has
been here for 18 months, and I pay her $150 per week plus free room and
board. Then there's the half-wit who works about 18 hours every day and
does about 90% of all the work around here. He makes about $10 per week,
pays his own room and board, and I buy him a bottle of bourbon every
Saturday night. He also sleeps with my wife occasionally.'

'That's the guy I want to talk to --- the half-wit,' says the agent.




'That would be me,” replied the farmer.

Now that rings a bell somehow ?!
 
Quote from nutmeg:

I bought a book "How to Make it Big". I can't beleive it, the book is all about money.

ba da boom

If it makes you fell any better, I get 40 emails a day from people wanting to help you - guaranteed.
 
Quote from nutmeg:

I remember my first blind date...
A friend told me that in College, her roommate one year was an almost blind girl, had about 5% of her vision but still needed a white cane, etc. At some point, several friends arranged a "group date" to attend a concert and go to a restaurant afterwards that included another student who was also mostly blind.

Things went well - everyone was happy to hear that a couple years later those two got married.

Not funny, but true.
 
Quote from flytiger:

I'd like to laugh, but as a business owner, I find it somewhat autobiographical.

In my twenties, I remember overhearing my boss, his friends and a few of his customers complaining about their "tax problems" I always said to myself "sheesh, I wish I had a tax problem".

I studied, worked hard and got my wish - I had tax problems.
 
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