Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Next time you use a pair of rubber gloves,
You're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so
he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't," she replied. "Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in
Canada with a big tank of latex & workers of all hand sizes walk up to the
tank, dip in their hands, let
them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them Into boxes of the right
size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she
burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!
You're going to smile when you think of this:
A dentist noticed that his next patient, a little old lady, was nervous so
he decided to tell her a little joke as he put on his gloves.
"Do you know how they make these gloves?" he asked.
"No, I don't," she replied. "Well," he spoofed, "there's a building in
Canada with a big tank of latex & workers of all hand sizes walk up to the
tank, dip in their hands, let
them dry, then peel off the gloves and throw them Into boxes of the right
size."
She didn't crack a smile.
"Oh, well. I tried," he thought.
But five minutes later, during a delicate portion of the procedure, she
burst out laughing.
"What's so funny?" he asked
"I was just envisioning how condoms are made!
OxyClinton
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Our old buddy Merle Hazard sings "In the Hamptons" with Arthur Laffer, LOL.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=B8PwqQ5guYk&feature=related
Don
http://youtube.com/watch?v=B8PwqQ5guYk&feature=related
Don
Reminds me of the story when the Pope was facing temptation.
alright alright, I'll have sex with a woman onna three condition
numbera one ; She musta be a blind, so she a cannot see who it is.
numbera two a: She musta be a deaf, so she a cannot hear a my voice.
Anna three; she a musta have a bigga bumbas.
alright alright, I'll have sex with a woman onna three condition
numbera one ; She musta be a blind, so she a cannot see who it is.
numbera two a: She musta be a deaf, so she a cannot hear a my voice.
Anna three; she a musta have a bigga bumbas.
Spitzer reminded me of a Golden Oldie:
An American scientist was researching longevity, experimenting with dolphins, feeding them various things, exercising them, etc., to see how to keep them alive the longest. Eventually he discovered that if he fed them seagulls, they would stay alive indefinitely! But they had to be very young seagulls.
This was such an exciting discovery that he kept the project going for decades, just to see how long he could keep the dolphins going. Eventually he ran out of baby seagulls in his coastal state of South Carolina, and went to the North Carolina beaches looking for more.
When he returned to South Carolina with a truck full of baby gulls, he was stopped and arrested. The charge?
Transporting young gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises.
An American scientist was researching longevity, experimenting with dolphins, feeding them various things, exercising them, etc., to see how to keep them alive the longest. Eventually he discovered that if he fed them seagulls, they would stay alive indefinitely! But they had to be very young seagulls.
This was such an exciting discovery that he kept the project going for decades, just to see how long he could keep the dolphins going. Eventually he ran out of baby seagulls in his coastal state of South Carolina, and went to the North Carolina beaches looking for more.
When he returned to South Carolina with a truck full of baby gulls, he was stopped and arrested. The charge?
Transporting young gulls across state lines for immortal porpoises.
A governor and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the governor a big open-mouthed kiss, says she'll see him later and walks away.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that??"
"Oh," replies the governor, "she's my prostitute."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more butt kising sycophants, no more political favors, no more state power, no more BMWs or Lexuses in the garage, no more yacht club and moving out of the Governor's Mansion. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a former president enters the restaurant with a slightly chunky women on his arm. "Who's that woman with Bill? " asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says the governor.
"At least ours works for a living," she replies.
His wife glares at him and says, "Who the hell was that??"
"Oh," replies the governor, "she's my prostitute."
"Well, that's the last straw," says the wife. "I've had enough, I want a divorce."
"I can understand that," replies her husband, "but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more butt kising sycophants, no more political favors, no more state power, no more BMWs or Lexuses in the garage, no more yacht club and moving out of the Governor's Mansion. But the decision is yours."
Just then, a former president enters the restaurant with a slightly chunky women on his arm. "Who's that woman with Bill? " asks the wife.
"That's his mistress," says the governor.
"At least ours works for a living," she replies.