Jokes 2

From the phramacists shelf



P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size,
decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving
the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up
to 8 full hours.
 
Quote from nutmeg:

From the phramacists shelf



P E P T O B I M B O
Liquid silicone drink for single women. Two full cups
swallowed before an evening out increases breast size,
decreases intelligence, and prevents conception.

N A G A M E N T
When administered to a husband, provides the same
irritation level as nagging him all weekend, saving
the wife the time and trouble of doing it herself.

D A M N I T O L
Take 2 and the rest of the world can go to hell for up
to 8 full hours.
More...



I crack myself up. Who need you guys. I'm having quite a bit of fum by myself.:D
 
Quote from nutmeg:

I crack myself up. Who need you guys. I'm having quite a bit of fum by myself.:D
More...

Yeah, we know.

Better hurry, get shaved and showered. It's Monday. You're weekly "Sex Without Partners" meeting starts at Six.
 
Oh Lord It`s Hard To Be Humble
when you're perfect in every way.
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day.
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.

I used to have a girlfriend
but she just couldn't compete
with all of these love starved women
who keep clamoring at my feet.
Well I prob'ly could find me another
but I guess they're all in awe of me.
Who cares, I never get lonesome
cause I treasure my own company.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way,
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.
I guess you could say I'm a loner,
a cowboy outlaw tough and proud.
I could have lots of friends if I want to
but then I wouldn't stand out from the crowd.

Some folks say that I'm egotistical.
Hell, I don't even know what that means.
I guess it has something to do with the way that I
fill out my skin tight blue jeans.

Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
when you're perfect in every way,
I can't wait to look in the mirror
cause I get better looking each day
To know me is to love me
I must be a hell of a man.
Oh Lord it's hard to be humble
but I'm doing the best that I can.
We're doing the best that we can
 
a son asks his dad the difference between "theoretically" and "realistically". Dad says thats a hard one son, but i've an idea, ask your mum if she would sleep with the milkman for 1 million bucks. mum says yes. now ask your sister if she would sleep with the newspaper man for 2 million bucks, sister says yes. there you go son thats your answer , theoretically were sitting on 3 million bucks, realistically we are living with two sluts.
 
A 92-year old woman had a full cardiac arrest at home and was rushed to the hospital.
After about thirty minutes of unsuccessful resuscitation attempts the old lady was pronounced dead.

The doctor went to tell the lady's 78-year old daughter that her mother didn't make it.

"Didn't make it?

Where could they be? She left in the ambulance forty-five minutes ago!"
 
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