Jokes 2

Quote from 88888accountant:

Oh sure, nobody thought it was funny when I posted it.

:mad:



http://www.elitetrader.com/vb/showthread.php?s=&postid=1639800#post1639800
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It's because you're an accountant. It's page six of the Comedy Book. "Accountants are not funny. Don't laugh or they'll think you're laughing at them, and they'll poke your eye out with a No. 2 pencil." I swear. It's in there.

To think, those people were looking forward to going there, and doing that. And they put thought into what they were going to wear. That's like waiting hours for a setup, and losing two grand when it happens.
 
Quote from flytiger:

It's because you're an accountant. It's page six of the Comedy Book. "Accountants are not funny.
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Well, I was only the accountant of the five 8s account, then I got fired from Barrings. I guess im not as funny as I thought. oh well. :(
 
Quote from 88888accountant:

Well, I was only the accountant of the five 8s account, then I got fired from Barrings. I guess im not as funny as I thought. oh well. :(
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I put this on the old thread, but maybe there's some new people, or Homeland Security, or somebody looking in....

Lawyer, Accountant and Homebuilder at the dog park with their animals selling wolf tickets (animal theme all through this one).

Homebuilder says, "Watch AFrame here stack these cards into a House." Damned if the dog doesn't build a house of cards, and without thumbs!!!! Homebuilder Bob pets AFrame, says, go get a biscuit boy. AFrame dutifully marches over and gets one biscuit, comes back to its owners feet, and enjoys his treat.

The unfunny Accountant says, "Yeah??? Ledger, pick out all the tens, place them in piles of two. Damned if Ledger doesn't do the deed, and, on command, get his treat.

The Lawyer, rather bored, says, "that's it? That's what these these flea bags do for tricks? LEDGER, come. Ledger comes to his master, who whispers a command in his ear. Ledger screws the other two dogs, and eats the biscuits.
 
Quote from flytiger:

I put this on the old thread, but maybe there's some new people, or Homeland Security, or somebody looking in....

Lawyer, Accountant and Homebuilder at the dog park with their animals selling wolf tickets
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uh... okay so theres no wolf 3 little pigs thing? what happened with the wolf tickets? lol

I guess its kinda funny. :D
 
I still dont get it. if Ledger is the accountant and the lawyer is the wolf, what are the tickets? stocks that someone is scalping?

please explain it to me cuz Its bugging me that I don't get it.
 
Four guys are telling stories in a bar. One guy leaves for a bathroom break. Three guys are left.

The first guy says, "I was worried that my son was gonna be a loser because he started out washing cars for a local dealership. Turns out that he got a break, they made him a salesman, and he sold so many cars that he bought the dealership. In fact, he's so successful that he just gave his best friend a new Mercedes for his birthday."

The second guy says, "I was worried about my son too because he started out raking leaves for a Realtor. Turns out HE got a break, they made him a commissioned salesman, and he eventually bought the real estate firm. In fact, he's so successful that he just gave his best friend a new house for his birthday."

The third guy says, "Yeah, I hear you. My son started out sweeping floors in a brokerage firm. Now, he's so rich that he just gave HIS best friend a million in stock for his birthday." The fourth guy comes back from the can.

The first 3 explain that they are telling stories about their kids, so he says, "Well, I'm embarrassed to admit that my son hasn’t done much career-wise. He started out as a hairdresser and is STILL a hairdresser after 15 years.

But I guess his personal life is going OK. He's gay and has SEVERAL boyfriends. And to give you an idea just how much his boyfriends like him, check this out: three of his boyfriends just gave him a new Mercedes, a new house, and a million in stock for his birthday!
 
Quote from 88888accountant:

I still dont get it. if Ledger is the accountant and the lawyer is the wolf, what are the tickets? stocks that someone is scalping?

please explain it to me cuz Its bugging me that I don't get it.
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Me either. and whats up with homeland security, you left that part out, what is the name of homeland security dog and what is the rest of the story.
 
Quote from 88888accountant:

uh... okay so theres no wolf 3 little pigs thing? what happened with the wolf tickets? lol

I guess its kinda funny. :D
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"Wolf Ticket " is black slang for talking shit. Brothers on the corner be sellin' wolf tickets.

The Homeland Security was a 'throw away", just a inserted bit; it worked so well, I think I'll throw it away.

How bout I name the accountant's dog "spreadsheet"? Man, you guys know how to devast -, divast, dav...... screw up a joke. LOL
 
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