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Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
I had a dream last night that I was sent to hell...
After only a day in the stinking hot torturous shit hole I begged Lucifer to release me.
He said to me that the only way I could ever leave was to have 24 hours of sex with the most gruesome looking woman he could find.
Desperate to leave I agreed to do this and was soon being lead to a cell where the most disgusting looking woman I had ever set my eyes on laid there spread eagle beckoning me...She was awfull, at least twenty stone, with ginger hair, green teeth, hairy breasts, boils, spots, warts and between her legs there was what I could only describe as looking like an axe wound in an orang-utans back.
I did it though, took it like a man, she sat on my face, rode me like a sumo on a rescue horse and did things that would even make the most sexually depraved vomit. For 24 hellish hours I endured that shit, but I did it and was soon being lead out of the cell on my way to heaven.
As I was being lead by the devil himself down the corridor I happened to glance into another cell where I was shocked to see my mate Fred bouncing up and down on the most stunning woman I had ever seen, annoyed, I turned to Lucifer and asked "how come he gets to shag a fit bird"?
He replied "some of the women want to get out of here as well you know"
After only a day in the stinking hot torturous shit hole I begged Lucifer to release me.
He said to me that the only way I could ever leave was to have 24 hours of sex with the most gruesome looking woman he could find.
Desperate to leave I agreed to do this and was soon being lead to a cell where the most disgusting looking woman I had ever set my eyes on laid there spread eagle beckoning me...She was awfull, at least twenty stone, with ginger hair, green teeth, hairy breasts, boils, spots, warts and between her legs there was what I could only describe as looking like an axe wound in an orang-utans back.
I did it though, took it like a man, she sat on my face, rode me like a sumo on a rescue horse and did things that would even make the most sexually depraved vomit. For 24 hellish hours I endured that shit, but I did it and was soon being lead out of the cell on my way to heaven.
As I was being lead by the devil himself down the corridor I happened to glance into another cell where I was shocked to see my mate Fred bouncing up and down on the most stunning woman I had ever seen, annoyed, I turned to Lucifer and asked "how come he gets to shag a fit bird"?
He replied "some of the women want to get out of here as well you know"
"Washington, DC -- The US Treasury Department is introducing a program designed to stimulate the US economy from the bottom up. Called "Do-It-Yourself Dollars," the effort provides software American taxpayers can use to print their own cash."
"Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner ticked off a list of major economic problems that he said the program will correct. "People keep asking us to create jobs," he said. "This program gives everyone a job -- a job making money."
"The fact that the program only prints $1 bills was identified as another potential glitch. "We've created a subcommittee to look into that," Geithner said. "With the high price of paper and ink cartridges, it may cost more than a dollar to print a dollar. Perhaps we can include some Office Max coupons with the deal."
"Treasury Secretary Tim Geithner ticked off a list of major economic problems that he said the program will correct. "People keep asking us to create jobs," he said. "This program gives everyone a job -- a job making money."
"The fact that the program only prints $1 bills was identified as another potential glitch. "We've created a subcommittee to look into that," Geithner said. "With the high price of paper and ink cartridges, it may cost more than a dollar to print a dollar. Perhaps we can include some Office Max coupons with the deal."