Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Going Out with Your First Love
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in Seamus O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone has got to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?" They draw straws.
Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.
"Discreet?" Gallagher says. "I'm the most discreet Irishman you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."
He goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers. Gallagher says, "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!" says Murphy's wife.
"I'll go tell him," says Gallagher.
Six retired Irishmen were playing poker in Seamus O'Leary's apartment when Paddy Murphy loses $500 on a single hand, clutches his chest and drops dead at the table.
Michael O'Conner looks around and asks, "Oh, me boys, someone has got to tell Paddy's wife. Who will it be?" They draw straws.
Paul Gallagher picks the short one. They tell him to be discreet, be gentle, don't make a bad situation any worse.
"Discreet?" Gallagher says. "I'm the most discreet Irishman you'll ever meet. Discretion is me middle name. Leave it to me."
He goes over to Murphy's house and knocks on the door. Mrs. Murphy answers. Gallagher says, "Your husband just lost $500 and is afraid to come home."
"Tell him to drop dead!" says Murphy's wife.
"I'll go tell him," says Gallagher.
Knowledge Is Power
A foursome approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball into that direction. But the ball went over the low fence and bounced off the side of the passing bus, turned 180 degrees, hit a tree square in the middle and came straight in its original direction towards the road, where it hit the rear tire of the same bus and was knocked back on to the fairway.
As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, âHow on earth did you do that?â
He shrugged his shoulders and smiled: âYou've got to know the bus schedule!â
A foursome approached the sixteenth tee. The straight fairway ran along a road on the left. The first golfer teed off and hooked the ball into that direction. But the ball went over the low fence and bounced off the side of the passing bus, turned 180 degrees, hit a tree square in the middle and came straight in its original direction towards the road, where it hit the rear tire of the same bus and was knocked back on to the fairway.
As they all stood in silent amazement, one man finally asked him, âHow on earth did you do that?â
He shrugged his shoulders and smiled: âYou've got to know the bus schedule!â