Jokes 2

Quote from nutmeg:

Gees, Humpy, as of this writing I do not know personally anyone whose personal life situation has deteriorated within the last 8 years. My kids have jobs, their husband/boyfriend and their friends are all working or going to college.

My neighbors are status quo, the casual people I run into during the course of the week, are still doing what they always have been doing.

Everyone pensions took a hit, that could happen whoever is president but people are resourceful they adapt. Outside of that and the hassle of dealing with security issues ie traveling, seeing police presence around more, life with Bush has been unnoticeable and uneventfull (no terrorist attacks).
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Good point, same here. But, we, Americans, are such hypocrites: we like "uneventful" but we like "adventurous and unpredictable bastard" more. Look at Minnesota, one of the "serious" states - what kind of an idiot they want to send to the Senate. At this point, I think that those imbeciles deserve Franken, let them have him.

No to mention Bill, our "peace and prosperity" [a la Sargeant Schultz] President, who took a deep breath and an oath to reassure us that "he didn't have sex with that woman". Then, the truth came out and they impeached him and disbarred him. Of course, he later went on to make $600 million [so far -- more when H makes some big deals, gets fired and joins him] peddling influence around the globe. Oh well.

Btw, whatever happened to Monica L? :)
 
A Texas death row inmate with a history of mental problems pulled out his only good eye and told authorities he ate it then asked for a side of fries.
 
A married Irishman went into the confessional and said to his priest, "I almost had an affair with another woman."

The priest said, “What do you mean, almost?” The Irishman said, “Well, we got undressed and rubbed together, but then I stopped.”

The priest said, “Rubbing together is the same as putting it in. You’re not to see that woman again. For your penance, say five Hail Mary’s and put $50 in the poor box.”

The Irishman left the confessional, said his prayers, and then walked over to the poor box. He paused for a moment and then started to leave.

The priest, who was watching, quickly ran over to him saying, “I saw that. You didn’t put any money in the poor box!”

The Irishman replied, “Yeah, but I rubbed the $50 on the box, and according to you, that’s the same as putting it in!”
 
Mom got the christmas pix developed, guess which one is me?



little_girl.jpg
 
Q. What is the best thing about dating a homeless woman?
A. You can drop her off anywhere.

Q. What should a woman say to a man she has just had sex with?
A. Whatever she wants. He's sleeping.

Q. What's the difference between in-laws and outlaws?
A. Outlaws are wanted.

Q. Where does virgin wool come from?
A. Ugly sheep.

Q. How do you spot the blind man at a nudist colony?
A. It isn't hard.
 
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