Jokes 2

The Doctor was puzzled. "I'm very sorry but I can't diagnose your trouble, Mahoney. I think it must be drink. "


"Don't worry about it Dr. Kelley, I'll come back when you're sober."
 
A priest who raised chickens at his church discovered one day that his rooster had been stolen. He was very upset about this, so the following Sunday he called in his entire congregation to find out who the culprit was. The first thing he asked was, “Has anybody seen my Cock?”

Three altar boys, and several men from the village all stood up .
 
Quote from flytiger:

A priest who raised chickens at his church discovered one day that his rooster had been stolen. He was very upset about this, so the following Sunday he called in his entire congregation to find out who the culprit was. The first thing he asked was, “Has anybody seen my Cock?”

Has anyone seen your cock?
Your big Rhode Island Red?
The mostly pink with a little bit of blue
And purple on his head?
He stands straight up in the morning
And he gives your wife a shock [scream..aahhhh!!!!!!]
Has anybody seen, anybody seen youuuuurrrrr Cock?

do be do be do......
More...
 
Quote from flytiger:

A priest who raised chickens at his church discovered one day that his rooster had been stolen. He was very upset about this, so the following Sunday he called in his entire congregation to find out who the culprit was. The first thing he asked was, "Has anybody got a cock?" All the men stood up.

"No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock?"

All the women stood up. "No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen a cock that doesn't belong to them?"

Half the women stood up. "No, No," he said, "that wasn't what I meant. Has anybody seen my cock?"

All the altar boys stood up.....
More...
 
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If you've been wondering where I've been, I was answering an ad at Stanford research group. They advertised for participants in a study of obsessive-compulsive disorder. They were looking for therapy clients who had been diagnosed with this disorder. So far I have sent in 3,000 letters in about three days.
 
I went to a psychologist for years to get my head on straight.

After all that time and money I found out it was only my tie that was on crooked.
 
This is what the pros call a "set up":

TradStSOX
Registered: Feb 2008
Posts: 159
03-16-08 04:27 AM
Would a small firm, future's broker doing own clearing be in danger of insolvency?
Do broker's also have the equivalent of the FDIC guarantee?
IMO, they should not be effected by the recent credit crunch problems unless their clients miss margin calls!
What are the signs of a Bank or Broker heading towards insolvency problems?!
 
What are the signs of a Bank or Broker heading towards insolvency problems?! [/B][/QUOTE]

Your firm might be in trouble if the margin clerk calls you for a loan.

Your firm might be in trouble if the coffee station is now downstairs in the cafeteria.

Your firm might be in trouble if your Chairman makes a statement to theNY Times that you're firm is not in trouble.

Your firm might be in trouble if it is mulling a take over offer from Big Lots.

Your firm might be in trouble if the IRS allows your 401K to be classified as a 200.5K.

Your firm might be in trouble if there is a "PODS" module outside onthe sidewalk, and the Corporate Officers are putting belongings in there.

Your boss is wearing a fake glasses/nose/moustache thingy.

He stops screwing his secretary.

He is continually on the phone w/his lawyer trying to get his deferred comp "undeferred".

And finally, you might know your firm is in trouble if "The Emporers' Club Goons are always there trying to collect 'past due' accounts.
 
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