in slow motion....?
Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
in slow motion....?
I used this as an example of how I feel some days.
If homosexual necrophilia bothers you, don't watch.about 40% into the vid. But watch it all. Well worth it.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wiFOUs2qA9E
By the way, if the warning scared you off, you're probably alone, knowing this bunch.
If homosexual necrophilia bothers you, don't watch.about 40% into the vid. But watch it all. Well worth it.
http://youtube.com/watch?v=wiFOUs2qA9E
By the way, if the warning scared you off, you're probably alone, knowing this bunch.
NY Times' Objectivity
A man is walking by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to devour her right in front the little girl's screaming parents.
Thereupon, the man runs to the cage, hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, permitting the man to bring her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the man, says: 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've ever seen.'
'Why, it was nothing,' said the man, 'really, the lion was behind bars and I knew God would protect me just as He did Daniel in the lions' den long, long ago. I just saw this little girl in danger, and acted as I felt was right.'
'I noticed a bible in your pocket,' said the journalist.
'Yes, I'm a Christian and was on my way to a bible study,' the man replies.
'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's NY Times, the best newspaper in the world, will cover this on the first page.'
The journalist leaves. The following morning the man buys his NY Times to see if it indeed brings news of the incident. There, on the very first page, he reads the following headline in bold print: 'Right Wing Christian Fundamentalist Assaults African Immigrant at the Zoo and Steals His Lunch!'
A man is walking by the zoo when he sees a little girl leaning into the lion's cage. Suddenly, the lion grabs her by the cuff of her jacket and tries to pull her inside to devour her right in front the little girl's screaming parents.
Thereupon, the man runs to the cage, hits the lion square on the nose with a powerful punch. Whimpering from the pain, the lion jumps back letting go of the girl, permitting the man to bring her to her terrified parents, who thank him endlessly.
A reporter has seen the whole scene, and addressing the man, says: 'Sir, this was the most gallant and brave thing I've ever seen.'
'Why, it was nothing,' said the man, 'really, the lion was behind bars and I knew God would protect me just as He did Daniel in the lions' den long, long ago. I just saw this little girl in danger, and acted as I felt was right.'
'I noticed a bible in your pocket,' said the journalist.
'Yes, I'm a Christian and was on my way to a bible study,' the man replies.
'Well, I'll make sure this won't go unnoticed. I'm a journalist, you know, and tomorrow's NY Times, the best newspaper in the world, will cover this on the first page.'
The journalist leaves. The following morning the man buys his NY Times to see if it indeed brings news of the incident. There, on the very first page, he reads the following headline in bold print: 'Right Wing Christian Fundamentalist Assaults African Immigrant at the Zoo and Steals His Lunch!'
Silly left versus right bias makes jokes look ridiculous.
NY Post and Fox News reports same issue:
Christian warrior saves lives of innocent child under attack from wild, aggressive untamed beast. "I knew that God would protect me as he did with David in the lion's den." Further to this, Mr. Oreilly adds that this symbolizes why we need to keep our brave troops in Iraq. Without us there, the Iraqi lion's den will devour the nation, and then Al-Quaeda will be on our shores. They do this because they hate our freedom. News at 11.
c
NY Post and Fox News reports same issue:
Christian warrior saves lives of innocent child under attack from wild, aggressive untamed beast. "I knew that God would protect me as he did with David in the lion's den." Further to this, Mr. Oreilly adds that this symbolizes why we need to keep our brave troops in Iraq. Without us there, the Iraqi lion's den will devour the nation, and then Al-Quaeda will be on our shores. They do this because they hate our freedom. News at 11.
c
Yeah, but did you get a load of her facial expressions?...
That video of Ursula Martinez's live nude performance (filmed at the Montreal Just for Laughs Comedy Festival - ya'll knew it wasn't the ever-nudity-friendly USofA) has been all over the Internet for years. Those disturbing faces... shudder... to this day, I am still unable to have sex with any female magician. Even one fully clothed.
George W. Bush goes into a local bar to have a drink.
Another guy comes in and asked the bartender, Is that President Bush? The bartender says that it is. The guy goes over to the president and says that it is an honor to meet him, but what is he doing in this bar?
Bush says I am planning WWIII.
The guy says so what is going to happen?
Bush says I am going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blond with big tits.
The guy says why you going to kill a blond with big tits?
Bush looked at the bartender and said I told you people wouldn't care if I killed 140 million Muslims.
Another guy comes in and asked the bartender, Is that President Bush? The bartender says that it is. The guy goes over to the president and says that it is an honor to meet him, but what is he doing in this bar?
Bush says I am planning WWIII.
The guy says so what is going to happen?
Bush says I am going to kill 140 million Muslims and one blond with big tits.
The guy says why you going to kill a blond with big tits?
Bush looked at the bartender and said I told you people wouldn't care if I killed 140 million Muslims.