Jokes 2

This has been one of my favorites for years as I really did live with an MD in training.

So I'm waiting tables thru college, sleeping on the floor, living with this resident. Residents in training can earn extra money covering the ED of local hospitals. My roomie is doing this one night when a very pregnant mother comes in and he delivers a baby boy. The boy is healthy except for one regard, he is missing an eyelid. Without an eyelid the eye will be useless.

This is in the pre computer era, no telemedicine conferences available.

He has to come up with a solution fast or this eye is no good. He considers a quick skin graft to make an eyelid but a newborn really needs all of their skin, stealing a patch from somewhere not feasible. He hits upon a solution though. He circumcises the newborns penis and uses the skin to fashion an eyelid. Everything is fine except for one problem




The kid is cockeyed
 
Handle123 said:
-Doesn't expecting the unexpected mean that the unexpected is actually expected?

-Take my advice............ I'm not using it.

-I hate it when people use big words just to make themselves sound perspicacious.

-Hospitality is the art of making guests feel like they're at home when you wish they were.

-Television may insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

-I bought a vacuum cleaner six months ago and so far all it's been doing is gathering dust.

-Every time someone comes up with a foolproof solution, along comes a more-talented fool.

-I'll bet you $4,567 you can't guess how much I owe my bookie.

-Behind every great man is a woman rolling her eyes.

-If you keep your feet firmly on the ground, you'll have trouble putting on your pants.

-A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

-Ever stop to think and forget to start again?

-My wife got 8 out 10 on her driver's test--the other two guys managed to jump out of her way.

-There may be no excuse for laziness, but I'm still looking.

-Women spend more time wondering what men are thinking than men spend thinking.

-Give me ambiguity or give me something else.

-He who laughs last thinks slowest.

-Is it wrong that only one company makes the game Monopoly?

-Women sometimes make fools of men, but most guys are the do-it-yourself type.

-I was going to give him a nasty look, but he already had one.

-Change is inevitable, except from a vending machine.

-The grass may be greener on the other side but at least you don't have to mow it.

-I like long walks, especially when they're taken by people who annoy me.

-I was going to wear my camouflage shirt today, but I couldn't find it.

-If at first you don't succeed, skydiving is not for you.

-If tomatoes are technically a fruit, is ketchup a smoothie?

-Money is the root of all wealth.
More...


Did you ever notice that when you lose something you always find it in the last place you look?
 
I was in Cleveland the other day and I saw a bumper sticker on a parked car that read: "I miss Chicago ."

I broke the windows,....

stole the radio,...

shot out all the tires, ....

tagged on an Obama bumper sticker.

And added a note that read ......."I hope this helps".
 
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There will no longer be a penalty stoke for hitting a ball into the water or out of bounds. The USGA , the R&A, the PGA, after a private meeting with FBI Director Comey, have recommended that your opponent must prove that youintendedto hit the ball into these hazards in order for there to be a penalty.
Carelessness or ignorance is notintent.
 
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