Jokes 2
- Thread starter gwb-trading
- Start date
Italian Auction – only 44 seconds !
A Chinese Ming Vase is up for auction. The bidding opens at a half-million Euros. Bidding is brisk and each bidder is clearly identified as each raises the bid by 100,000 Euros. (The exchange rate at auction time was 1 Euro = $1.43.) Within seconds, the bid stalls at One million Euros, and the gasp from the crowd identifies the excitement that prevails in the room. The successful bidder is the last one who bid one million, and the auctioneer counts down the bid, Going once, going twice, and sold to the gentleman sitting in front of me for one million Euros."
Now, you are going to have to see the video for yourself. The auctioneer is exuberant. The pace is fast. This is how an auction should be run. Please note the excitement on the auctioneer's face after the final bid.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/3e0yZCLjwfU?rel=0
A Chinese Ming Vase is up for auction. The bidding opens at a half-million Euros. Bidding is brisk and each bidder is clearly identified as each raises the bid by 100,000 Euros. (The exchange rate at auction time was 1 Euro = $1.43.) Within seconds, the bid stalls at One million Euros, and the gasp from the crowd identifies the excitement that prevails in the room. The successful bidder is the last one who bid one million, and the auctioneer counts down the bid, Going once, going twice, and sold to the gentleman sitting in front of me for one million Euros."
Now, you are going to have to see the video for yourself. The auctioneer is exuberant. The pace is fast. This is how an auction should be run. Please note the excitement on the auctioneer's face after the final bid.
https://www.youtube.com/embed/3e0yZCLjwfU?rel=0
British humour as it used to be: Absolutely politically incorrect...........................................................................................................................................................
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons
on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds
from running.-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police
think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since
all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!-------------------------------------------------------------------------Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
============================================
During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
=============================================
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.
=============================================
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
=============================================
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
=============================================
An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of
her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It seems that a
caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a
railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."
To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
It has been announced that the police are going to be allowed to use water cannons
on rioters. They are putting some Tide washing powder in to stop the coloureds
from running.-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Two Muslims have crashed a speedboat into the Thames barrier in London. Police
think it might be the start of Ram-a-dam.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Riots in Birmingham last month caused over 1 million worth of improvements
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Muslims have gone on the rampage in Manchester, killing anyone who's English.
Police fear the death toll could be as high as 8 or 9.
-------------------------------------------------------------------------
Years ago it was suggested that, "An apple a day keeps the doctor away." But, since
all the doctors are now Muslim, I've found that a bacon sandwich works great!-------------------------------------------------------------------------Police in London have found a bomb outside a mosque...
They've told the public not to panic as they've managed to push it inside.
============================================
During last night's high winds an African family were killed by a falling tree.
A spokesman for the Birmingham City council said "We didn't even know they were living up there".
=============================================
Jamaican minorities in the UK have complained that there are not enough television shows with minorities in mind, so Crime Watch is being shown 5 times a week now.
=============================================
I was reading in the paper today about this dwarf that got pick pocketed.
How could anyone stoop so low.
=============================================
I was walking down the road when I saw an Afghan bloke standing on a fifth floor
balcony, shaking a carpet. I shouted up to him, "What's up Abdul, won't it start?"
=============================================
An Emergency Call Centre worker has been fired in Toronto much to the dismay of
her colleagues, who were unhappy with her dismissal. It seems that a
caller dialed 911 from a cell phone stating, "I am depressed and lying on a
railway line so that when the train comes I can finally meet Allah."
To which the call centre employee replied, "Remain calm and stay on the line."
crazy commercial..........
This is the most fascinating commercial to come down the pike in a long, long time.
One has to wonder at the ingenuity of how this was put together.
Fantastic!
Would love to know how many man hours it took to produce this outstanding commercial.
https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/Dxy4n0UT82o?rel=0
This is the most fascinating commercial to come down the pike in a long, long time.
One has to wonder at the ingenuity of how this was put together.
Fantastic!
Would love to know how many man hours it took to produce this outstanding commercial.
https://www.youtube-nocookie.com/embed/Dxy4n0UT82o?rel=0
The NAVY is recruiting a new generation of SEALS
This gives the term “drill sergeant” a new meaning??
Navy SEALS recruiting new applicants.
THE MILITARY CAME UP WITH A SUPER IDEA TO BEAT ISIS, THE TALIBAN, etc. NEW FEMALE U.S. SEALS.
AS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW, IT IS A SIN FOR MUSLIM MALE TO SEE ANY WOMAN OTHER THAN HIS WIFE NAKED, AND IF HE DOES, "HE MUST COMMIT SUICIDE". FINALLY, A FEMALE SEAL TEAM TO END THE WAR !
Lets bring those legs higher……Kick!
Give me 25, the Hard Way!
I see a spec of dust between those thighs, grunt!
This gives the term “drill sergeant” a new meaning??
Navy SEALS recruiting new applicants.
THE MILITARY CAME UP WITH A SUPER IDEA TO BEAT ISIS, THE TALIBAN, etc. NEW FEMALE U.S. SEALS.
AS YOU MAY ALREADY KNOW, IT IS A SIN FOR MUSLIM MALE TO SEE ANY WOMAN OTHER THAN HIS WIFE NAKED, AND IF HE DOES, "HE MUST COMMIT SUICIDE". FINALLY, A FEMALE SEAL TEAM TO END THE WAR !
Lets bring those legs higher……Kick!
Give me 25, the Hard Way!
I see a spec of dust between those thighs, grunt!
This is kinda deep, but stay with me on this…geared towards the
mathematically inclined…
Speed of Light squared.
Einstein, brilliant genius as we all know.
Another lesser known of Einstein's formulas determined; if you were to
strip naked and run around in a circle at the speed of 299,792.458 KM/sec
(the speed of light) it could be possible for you to fuck yourself!
Should you determine you are not physically capable of achieving that speed
at your age, you can easily achieve the same result by voting Democrat in
the November 8, 2016 election.
No need to thank me for this information. I am merely providing a public
service.
mathematically inclined…
Speed of Light squared.
Einstein, brilliant genius as we all know.
Another lesser known of Einstein's formulas determined; if you were to
strip naked and run around in a circle at the speed of 299,792.458 KM/sec
(the speed of light) it could be possible for you to fuck yourself!
Should you determine you are not physically capable of achieving that speed
at your age, you can easily achieve the same result by voting Democrat in
the November 8, 2016 election.
No need to thank me for this information. I am merely providing a public
service.