Jokes 2

[JAGUARBONE]

Last year, I decided to buy my mother-in-law a cemetery plot as a Christmas gift... This year, I didn't buy her a gift.

When she asked me why, I replied, "Well, you still haven't used the gift I bought you last year!"

 

[JAGUARBONE]

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

 

[Scataphagos]

Quote from JAGUARBONE:

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

And then the fight started?

 

[Bry]

Quote from JAGUARBONE:

My wife was standing nude, looking in the bedroom mirror. She was not happy with what she saw and said to me, "I feel horrible; I look old, fat and ugly. I really need you to pay me a compliment.'

I replied, "Your eyesight's damn near perfect."

Man, JB, you're so freakin' mean! Are you the guy who pulled a ten-pound bugger out of his nose, and, trying to eat it, his head collapsed?

 

[Humpy]

Family budgie dies so wifey goes to the pet shop for a new one. She notices a really nice parrot (beautiful plumage) which is on offer for same price as a budgie. The assistant points out that the reduced price is due the parrot having previously lived in a brothel but on the other hand he is a very good talker. Wifey decides it's a bargain & takes the parrot home.

Gets home, takes off the cage cover and immediately the parrot starts talking: "New place I see - very nice". The woman's two daughters come to observe the performance; parrot comments "2 new girls as well then". Just then her husband walks in, to which the parrot says " Hello Dave, nice to see you again ".

 

[JAGUARBONE]

This should pick things up around here a bit:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yO7MWuJ7zLA

waitforit= :24


enjoy with a butter beer..?

 

[gwb-trading]

Today's quote - "My 1st wife was vehemently pro-life until my girlfriend got pregnant."

 

[flytiger]

Nutmeg is :

a. Dead

b. Born Again

c. Become a Monk

d. Is a dead monk

e. Scouring the web for jokes to steal

f. All of the above

 

[Humpy]

Quote from flytiger:

Nutmeg is :

a. Dead

b. Born Again

c. Become a Monk

d. Is a dead monk

e. Scouring the web for jokes to steal

f. All of the above

Perhaps he signed up for Odumbo Care and got cured ?

 

[flytiger]

Quote from Humpy:

Perhaps he signed up for Odumbo Care and got cured ?

Bastard always thought of only himself. Now , where do we go for disgustingly filthy nonsensical humor?


I wonder if Don Bright is hiring?