Jokes 2

[hoodooman]

I think that I will name my new puppy Penis. All he wants to do is to go in and out, in and out.

 

[fhl]

I just cannot believe how ungrateful some women can be.

I made my new girlfriend breakfast in bed, and instead of thanking me, she said 'how did you get in my house?'

 

[fhl]

So you probably heard about the olympic blade guy shooting his girlfriend. Seems he's been doing some rather nutty things leading up to this.
He used to not have a blade, though. He had a wooden leg when he dated his previous girlfriend. But then she broke it off.

 

[hoodooman]

I guess you all knew that yesterday was chris dorner's last ash wednesday.

 

[Humpy]

Instead of calling it Ash wednesday how about crematorium day ?

 

[fhl]

Did you ever notice how ugly those North Korean leaders are?

But they're all married. I guess that proves there's someone for every un.

 

[TGregg]

Quote from fhl:

Did you ever notice how ugly those North Korean leaders are?

But they're all married. I guess that proves there's someone for every un.

Didya hear about the time that The Onion ran a "story" about how the NK leader was voted as the Sexiest Man Alive and some Chinese paper ran with the story not realizing it was fake?

http://www.express.co.uk/news/world/377324/North-Korea-s-boy-leader-Kim-Jong-un-turns-nasty

 

[fhl]

I went into a five star hotel and used the bathroom today.

I think it's a two star hotel now.

 

[fhl]

Just what are roman numerals good IV anyway?

 

[nutmeg]

On my girlfriends 40th birthday I got her a cake with XL written on it.

She said "Aww, that's 40 in Roman numerals."

I said "No, that's to remind you what size clothes you wear. Now eat your cake you fat bitch."