Jokes 2

Make your own Vakentines day cards,,here use these...

"Your picture's in my wallet and I'm sitting on it — if that isn't love I don't know what is."

"How do I love thee ? Let me count the ways... uh... never mind. How much do I owe you ?"

After dinner....(in the sack)...


"Q: Do you love me ?

A: What do you think ? That I'm doing pushups ?"
 
Cahoots

I have been in many places, but I've never been in Cahoots.

Apparently, you can't go alone. You have to be in Cahoots with someone.

I've also never been in Cognito. I hear no one recognizes you there.

I have, however, been in Sane. They don't have an airport; you have to be driven there. I have made several trips there, thanks to my friends, family and work.

I would like to go to Conclusions, but you have to jump, and I'm not too much on physical activity anymore.

I have also been in Doubt. That is a sad place to go, and I try not to visit there too often.

I've been in Flexible, but only when it was very important to stand firm.

Sometimes I'm in Capable, and I go there more often as I'm getting older.

One of my favorite places to be is in Suspense! It really gets the adrenalin flowing and pumps up the old heart! At my age I need all the stimuli I can get!

I may have been in Continent, and I don't remember what country I was in. It's an age thing.

:) :) :)
 
Quote from Optionpro007:

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This depicts a typical conversation with a lawyer. I try to make a point, and he goes off on the "deep end" with stuff that is totally irrelevant to the point at hand.
 
Quote from syswizard:

This depicts a typical conversation with a lawyer. I try to make a point, and he goes off on the "deep end" with stuff that is totally irrelevant to the point at hand.
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Well, given that you pay him by the hour, that's not hurting him too much, does it? :)
 
Doctor,"Your daughter's dead because of her smoking Crack",

Whitney Houston's Dad,"I know she had a nice ass Doc, but how could that kill her?".
 
A young Israeli soldier who just enlisted asked the Commanding Officer for a 3-day pass to go see his girlfriend. The CO yelled, "Are you crazy? You just joined the army, and you already want a 3-day pass? You must do something spectacular for that recognition, something so fantastic that everybody would take notice!"

"No problem, Sir" said the soldier and he comes back a day later in an Arab tank! The CO was so impressed, he saluted him, hugged him and kised him! At the end, he asked, "How, how, how... did you do it, son?"

"Well, Sir, I gave the guards some whiskey and while they were not looking I jumped in a tank and went toward the border with the Arabs. I approached the border, and saw an Arab tank. I put my white flag up, the Arab tank put his white flag up. I said to the Arab soldier, "Do you want to get a three-day pass? He did... and, so, we exchanged tanks!"

:) :) :)
 
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