What do you call a musician who can't play an instrument?
A drummer.
If you've ever been a musician, you'll appreciate this one:
A musician dies and goes to heaven. St. Peter is qualifying entrants that day. The first guy on line is asked, "What did you do worthwhile while you were on earth? And the man says, "I was a lawyer. But wait! While on earth, I did a lot of pro bono work, helping those suffering injustices. I also helped to bring about change in the laws for a more equitable and fairer world." So, St. Peter lets him in and says, "That's admirable. Enter, go down the hall and turn left into the First Room". Turning to the second fellow in the line, St. Peter asks, "And what did you do when you were on earth?" The second fellow responds, "I was a doctor. But wait! When I was on earth, I volunteered and helped poor people recover from sickness and disease. I set up free clinics and pioneered medical breakthroughs to help stop human suffering. "Wonderful, " says St. Peter, "Enter then, and go down the hall and turn left into the First Room. Turning to the musician, St. Peter asks, "And how did you spend your life on earth?" The musician says, "I was a musician. But wait! While I was on earth, I arranged free concerts to bring music to people all over the world that did not know the joy of it. I also freely gave of my time to teach music to inner city youth." And St. Peter says, "Admirable! Come in through the back, go through the kitchen, take the service elevator up to the main floor and turn right into the First Room."